65 Inches

in #life6 months ago

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You Black Friday'ing it?

Winnet barked at me from the Teams call on my laptop.

Winnet was a lazy Software Developer supplied to us from one of our cheaper and more unsavoury Delivery Partners.

He was shit at his job but like an Irish wife on her wedding night, my company had low expectations from our partners.

We were meant to be discussing system response times and SLA's and all manner of boring software testing nonsense but it seemed he had other things on his mind.

Am I what?

I made a rumbling throaty noise like a plump Aunt finding a Guinea Pig's vagina in her soup.

Black Friday, man. You Black Friday'ing it?

Winnet was nervously jiggling about on screen as if he were trying to screw a cap on a bottle with his buttocks.

Black Friday? Wasn't this Thursday?

I flicked my eyes to the corner of the screen to make sure I hadn't lost time again like that time Aliens blatantly kidnapped me on my way home from a night out with my friends and I appeared at home in the early hours of the morning, bewildered and disoriented, glitter in my hair and smelling of cigarettes, whisky and ladies nethers.

Isn't it Thursday?

I frowned. I always found that to be the big problem with Thursdays is that they weren't Fridays. Perhaps Winnet felt that way too?

Aye man. It's Thursday but that's when the best Black Friday deals start. I have been waiting for this all year. I am gonna go fucking mental.

Winnet chuckled horribly as if his name were Schrodinger and he had just locked his cat in a box.

What do you mean, you are going to go fucking mental? Like getting a gun and going shooty mental? Or just taking an extra sugar in your tea mental?

I examined him closely, looking for the danger signs.

Apart from the endless jiggling, he looked ok. His face was a typical grey-white colour that, apart from corpses, only the Scots seem to pull off with any great aplomb.

He wasn't spitting or frothy of the mouth. Or even talking about 5G and vaccines. Which made him seem of relatively sound mind.

He pouted at me like a Bed-Wife denied her oatmeal.

Black Friday mental, mate. Come on. You not got your eye on anything? I am gonna get a big fuck off massive TV from Amazon. Big LG fucker. 65 inches. Sixty five fucking inches mate. That's bigger than you.

He smirked in the way of men who will happily shit themselves in the snow for the extra insulation.

Ahem, that is not bigger than me?

I tried not to splutter in indignation but it was hard when you were being teased by someone you had never met in the flesh before and had only seen on the screen of your laptop.

I mean, I had little evidence that he was actually real and not some nightmare cartoon figure conjured up by the Matrix to annoy me.

Aye right.

Winnet paused for a second then leered at me.

What size is your telly?
Telly of course being quaint British speak for TV and not a homage to Kojak

My Telly? Why? How the fuck would I know? Telly sized? This big?

I held my arms out wide attempting to convey an intimidating vastness but instead looking more like a desperate seagull fighting a pigeon for a fig.

Your telly's shite, mate. S'obvious, innit.

Winnet leaned back, hands behind his head, nodding smugly.

My telly is not shite. Its fucking magic.

For some reason, my usually nimble brain was having trouble coming up with something witty and intelligent to put Winnet firmly in his place.

Yer arse, mate. Wait till I get my telly. Sixty-Five inches mate. Sixty. Five. Inches. You'll cream yourself when you see it. Hahah, so you will.

He made an ejaculation motion with his hand and laughed like a Pirate in a Disney movie.

I opened my mouth to deliver a stinging insult about his mother and her propensity for swallowing my muck when I remembered where we were, who he was and more importantly, who I was.

I believe we should maintain a modicum of professionalism during our calls don't you, young man?

I did my best to sound like an elderly school teacher with a stick up his arse.

Winnet jerked bolt upright at my tone.

Ah yeah. Sorry man. I'll get onto looking at that code.

He clicked off.

I grinned and kicked back flicking Amazon open on my phone.

65 inches eh? Might be time to surprise the Good Lady...

With a TV of course.

Sort:  

Damn.. it is Black Friday tomorrow, the day they con us into loosening the strings.., and when everything is really the same price as usual.., now lets have a look...

Most of it is absolutely the same price but with a bit of digging you can get some cheapness!! I was prowling about the deals today! No giant TV though!

!PIZZA

Just saw an ad for a 55" 8k TV for under $1000. And I live in Brazil, where the taxes make prices double of those in the US.

Did not buy it, I don't need a TV but I am sincerely tempted to buy it because it sounds cheap. I don't follow the TV market to know if the deal is good but after a quick search, I saw 4k TVs there were even more expensive, so it probably is a good deal.

Prove me wrong if possible so I can save money because I am almost pulling the trigger!

I hate the holidays. Especially Black Friday.. pushing the consumerism

One day wasnt enough for them, they are pushing it out for the whole week. Rampant!

!PIZZA

In France, they can't say "Vendredi Noir" because it would be racist, so instead they say "Black Friday", and it ain't!

It's fucking magic! Like the Telly!

Ah, dearie me! Thats nuts but at the same time it makes a depressing kind of sense in this crazy world.

Viva la magic! :OD

!PIZZA

Friday is a nice day, if it lasts for a day. Somehow I started to dislike things that are only supposed to last a couple of days, feeling like being in it for years.

It is all about herd consumity these days. And as everything human is known to me I will now fire up my Amazon App. Definitely need a new laptop... Will explain it to my other half when it arrives, she'll understand.

Thats how I often get in trouble. I think, its ok, she will understand and then she goes bananas when she spies some new piece of tech. My explanations of I neeeeed it don't seem to wash.

I am like that too, Like Christmas, the supermarkets here started selling glittery xmas twoddle last month. I mean its not even December yet!

It is an enigma why it is not understood how tech things are needed. And they need to be up to date too. How can I buy or sell NFTs on a slow laptop? It is highly improbable to get some profit that way. Which would repay the investment in no time, I think... 🤔

Stores have been selling holidays related stuff for months overhere. It is nuts, seems like they start earlier every year! By the time the holidays are here again I'm already done with it. 😄

You should see me trying to buy or sell or do anything crypto related on my old Chromebook. It is like watching paint dry!

I am going to put my Christmas tree up in June. That will show them!

It is like watching paint dry!

That describes the stress sensation perfectly!

I am going to put my Christmas tree up in June. That will show them!

Great idea, I'll join in! 😄👍

Black Friday and I have a love/hate relationship. The prices used to be great and you waited all year for this ONE big shopping day. Now, they push it all year long - Christmas in July and Black Friday before. In the middle of summer and your Aunt Brenda's Birthday.

It is no longer the deal it used to be, although, they do make it "seem" cheap.

I think the Good Lady needs a new flat screen. It will be like going to the movies. I hope you have a wonderful day! The weekend is almost upon us!

I remember when it first hit the UK it definitely was a time for great deals. Now it is kinda pap. The only place I really see a deal is on amazon with their own devices! Cheeky feckers. Wasnt it them who cae up with the idea in the first place?

I hinted at the Good Lady, to say she was scornful would be a very mild understatement. Gaar. Trapped in the land of small tellies!

Yes, it kinda lost the charm. Now I am not even interested to get something.

That sounds like the kind of size you would need to have a room big enough to sit right at the other side of so you can actually see the tv otherwise you have the problem where you're in the front row of the cinema XD

perhaps I'm just not impressed because I don't watch tv

Did you feel old or distinguished or both when you played the "young man" card? :D

YEah, its too big for me. Although I dream of living till the day that we have a wall that is a tv if only so I can watch crypto charts on it and goo oooo.... ahhhhh when they rise and fall!

I felt very distinguished but I also felt very old ad boring and soul-less. I think that since we have gone down the cheap route and hired partners from all over the world my job has become a very dull and horrible one. Blegh

Time to find a new job or you're not holding out much hope for improvement? :)

I need the Good Lady to start earning cash, i.e get a real job so that we have the comfort blanket of a wage coming in w that I can play dive with our future. Till then I have to suck it up!

Buying a 65 inches TV on Black Friday or Thursday would be sane 😁

I looked at the prices and instantly backed away muttering not today my friend...!

It might be Black Friday eve but the prices are still nuts!

!PIZZA

Yea, it just a lie.

I think it always has been. Bastarts!

I like Friday, it can't be black. Monday should be black 😁

All Mondays are black!

Speaking of TVs I need a new one. My current one is only 47inches and is from 2008 lol. And now it makes a high-pitched screeching sound when it is on, hahaha. If my surround sound is loud enough, I don't hear it, but still annoying. Happy Holidays!!

Happy holidays to you too, its thanksgiving over there ain't it!

I think mine is 46, seems enough for the job but I do hanker after a biggy as I have had it for 6 years or so. Not as good an innings as yours has had!

!PIZZA

Winnet won you over at last, however dimwitted he must have conducted himself, now you're about to go his way and black Friday it on a 65 inches just like him.

Maybe that's what the 'Win' in Winnet is for 😅

Hahahah, or perhaps it is this ;O) Winnet

He almost had me getting one but I think the missus would wonder why we were eating cat food for the next six months! !PIZZA

Hahahahaha, that meaning of Winnet 🤣🤣

But at Black Friday prices I don't see 65 inches sending you to cat food, except Winnet is being true to that meaning and being excited for unimpressive black Friday prices.

Lol, I didnt see much in the way of savings! Unless he was looking at the special winner only site! I am not sure I would know where to put 65 inches of TV goodness!

Now I fear Winnet probably also doesn't have space to put it either. He also sounds like a guy that would realize too late.

He could probably live inside it it would be that big!

😂😂😅

It usually begins with that extra sweet cup of chai... Telltale sign.

Forearmed I will be for the future! :O)

!PIZZA

like a plump Aunt finding a Guinea Pig's vagina in her soup.

How do you come up with these similes? Do you need recreational drugs, or does it happen stone cold sober too?

Stone cold sober!! All the recreational drugs in my addled youth might have helped though, lol!

!PIZZA

I just saw an ad for a 55" 8k TV for under $1000.

Mind you I live in Brazil, here taxes are prohibitive so prices are typically from 50% to 100% higher than the US. I think that was a legitimately good deal but I did not buy it because it is not black Friday.

If it gets cheaper tomorrow I will save more, if it is more expensive I will not buy and save it all. There is no way it can go wrong.

There aint no losing if you play it right! We are not so bad on tax here, I saw one for 650 which looked really good but like you I am hanging back for the real black Friday. If there is something good I might be tempted!

!PIZZA

What do you mean, you are going to go fucking mental? Like getting a gun and going shooty mental? Or just taking an extra sugar in your tea mental?

I am going to put extra honey and extra lemon juice into my tea. It helps in the cold. But seriously. The cold can cause physical pain to me very easily. My hands are in pain in/under -7 °C, even in gloves. And in the winter it often go below -20 °C. The lowest was -35.50 °C so far. This was on 2021.02.13. Usually the February is the coldest month in my country (Hungary).

Have a nice day. All the best. Greetings from Hungary.

-20... -35?? In Hungary? I had no idea. I thought it was bad here in Scotland but it doesn't normally get below -10 at the very very worst. Normally it is -2 or -3 at the bad times. I feel for you! Get those handwarmer things and don't leave the house!

!PIZZA

Oh the times when I believed in Black Friday....I have no nostalgic feeling as now I realize how much deception it involves. I don't know how it must be in other countries, but in mine they jack up the prices before and then "lowering" to what is actually normal. So the prank is on the buyer all the time.

Yes they do that here too. In fact if you put an item ina price tracker you can get a pretty graph which shows their devious antics. Its quite outrageous!

!PIZZA

I am glad that more people realize this and prefer to keep their money. In fact in January and February they are more eager to sell and lower the price as sales are down after the holidays. It is better to buy then

Thats when I buy my best clothes! And warm stuff for the next winter. You can get stuff incredibly cheap!

Oh yes! I learned my lesson and I also do this, why pay extra when you can get it at a normal or even real low price? We pay for things with days from our lives working so we should spend wiser

I just looked and found the usual 2TB USB3.0 thumb drive for $10.

It's there every Black Friday. Someone buys a bunch of 512MB drives and mods the chip so that it will show 2TB when you plug it into your computer.

I'm always tempted to buy it for kicks ... but YouTube has lots of articles about it. It's a 512MB, USB1.0 drive that they sell as a 1-2TB USB3.0 drive.

I have a feeling that the vendor is either hoping that the price is low enough that folks won't bother returning it ... Or if they do, if enough folks buy it, they can make a little interest). dunno.

Anyways ... Enjoy your 75" TV. (You need to have a larger screen than Winnet!!!!

Crikey, that is just plain mean!! I bet that is their ruse. Make it so cheap that people won't really bother wondering why it's not filling up properly or even returning it.

Vocals, I hate scammers!!

I chickened out, the good lady was less than impressed when I suggested going up in the world!! :0)

I imagine you are going to stand him up a bit by purchasing a TV with more inches than his. I'd shoot for at least eighty inches if I were you.

You are right. When it comes to inches it always seems that more is the answer :0D

Yes. Let me know when you have purchased your 80-inch TV, so I can go to the store and purchase one with 81 inches.

But didn't you know that my 80 incher is extendable?

Duh! Mine's extendable too! And it comes with a lifetime supply of free screen protectors!

Mine has a camera on the back!!

Psshhh. Mine unfolds into a gigantic virtual reality bounce castle with bottomless chips and salsa and beer drinking fountains.

Yeah and they still say that size don't matter. Great writing style man. I've never read your blog before

Cheers mate! I try to be a bit different from the herd :0)

Here the sales seemed a bit lame. I mean I didn't hear of over double digits of people trampled to death at the doors of Best Buy or Apple, so really how good could it have been really?!?

The sales were shite. I was proper disappointed!!

It is honestly amazing some of the deals I have seen, but I just try and maintain self discipline and not spend money I shouldn't

It is the best approach. You should never buy for the sake of buying. That what the black Friday hucksters hate to hear tho!

!PIZZA

Buying a 65 inches TV on Black Friday or Thursday would be sane decision. In case you are wondering where to find the best Black Friday TV deals, here are the best places to get a good deal this year:

Walmart

Target

Best Buy

Amazon

GameStop

Newegg

Acer

Samsung

LG

If I am gonna get one I think it would have to be Samsung, I love their TVs! Cheers!

!PIZZA

Remember the good old days of shoving peop out of the way in a mad dash through hordes of people in an actual store, you know, one where you can touch all the things you might buy?

Ah the digital age has its disadvantages, haha!

Lol, I did like a good rammy in the hunt for a bargain!

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Sometimes you can find a good deal or two. The question though is, is it cheaper to buy online on Black Friday or Cyber Monday? I never know if I should wait a few days.

I have no idea either Sometimes I just keep checking in until the price is something that makes me not faint

Yeah that's a good strategy. I also try not to get sucked I to deals just because things are on sale. I decide what I need or want and then go looking rather than letting the computer try and sell me stuff

Indeed, as that way lies madness. I have a friend who literally buys everything he sees in adverts. He has so much stuff everywhere that he doesn't use or need!

Yeah. Sometimes I think that some people shop to find happiness or relieve boredom. Doesn't seem to ever work though because they keep doing it.