Last Monday evening while feeding my two partners in crime out on the road. I slipped some dewormer/flea med into the two food bowls.

_{Samantha Jo near comatose...}

I was careless and stupid. Samantha Jo had shown signs of lathargy and illness in the past from these meds. The thought of her eating both bowls of the food, and getting a double dose never crossed my mind. Lil' Guy never leaves his food bowl early. He is actually a food bully and I would have thought... _{Had I used my stupid brain and thought at all...}

I thought He would have eaten Sammi's bowl as her motherly instinct makes her step back and sacrifice her food bowls willingly without confrontation.

On any normal day, this would have been the after meal ritual.

The after meal cleanup ritual...

Had I Thought...

I would have paid more attention to it all. I would have not taken my eyes off them until the food was eaten properly by both kits. I can only speculate that Lil' Guy could smell/taste the meds and walked away? Leaving both bowls for Sammi Jo?

When Sammi Jo finally came out of her near coma state. She was completely blind and could not stand up. She was weak and wobbly. Having trouble breathing. I do not have to go into detail of what this did to me. Just imagine a broken man, heart ripped out in anguish and helplessness.

It was 2am. No vet anywhere nearby. There is no fix for toxicosis. They would simply diagnose and give her an I.V. and charge thousands. Yes even the vets are practicing medical tyranny here. I was not about to surrender her to them and not be by her side. That has already happened to us twice.

I wrapped her in a blanket to warm her. Cranked the heater in the truck to 99° She had all this signs of Toxicosis.

_{"Clinical signs of toxicosis may include depression, mydriasis, blindness (especially in cats), weakness, recumbency, ataxia, and coma. Less frequently reported signs include abnormal behavior, tremors, and seizures. Bradycardia, sinus arrhythmia, and hyperthermia are also possible. No lesions have been found on necropsy. Signs usually diminish over several days, and most animals completely recover within 2 to 4 weeks. There was an unpublished report of a cat in a coma for 18 days."}

Toxicosis

_{Sammi Jo is completely blind with mydriasis, (100% pupil dilation) scared and confused...}

I tried to keep the bright lights and sunshine out of her eyes for this 36 hours of hell. I did everything I could think of to get her the fluids that an I.V. would have. I squeezed gravy out of the wet food. I went thru 3 large packets of tuna in water, making a tuna soup. I also mixed lysine paste with some squeeze up liquid treats. I just kept pumping the moist food and water into her. And yes. It was a detox mess coming out the other end as you can imagine. Sammi Jo never lost her appetite and keeping food and water pumping into her is why I think she made it thru this so quickly. That and it was not a major overdose. I believe from her problems with flea meds in the past that she is more sensitive to the medicine than most cats.

I moved the litter igloo down from the top bunk for her. And helped her to use it as she could not stand up without tipping over.

Lil'Guy knew something was wrong and seemed to want to be near his foster momma...

Not since the unexpected death of my little sister to cancer (Misty R.I.P.) has a horrible life event ripped my guts out, made me feel so helpless, humbled me and made me scream out to beg for mercy.

I am thankful but also ashamed of myself. Thankful that She is here beside me now.

Worship and the Abyss

You see this weeks events resulted in a whole next level of higher worship of this kitty. I realize all too clearly now what it will feel like when the time comes to say goodbye. I dread it...

So today, Saturday, I am on a mission to pick my self loathing, no self esteem, angry at myself butt up out of that abyss and smile again. Be my witty, snappy and goofy self. It will start with a trip to the Freightliner Dealership nearby for a few needed parts for the Prime Mover. A Universal Joint for the drive shaft. Fuel filter, etc. As I told @cmplxty in some comments earlier I am not just a driver. I do 100% of the business, repairs and drive. I even change my own tires sometimes. If it is a major repair that requires tools I do not own. Then it goes to the shop.

_{Another Day @ The Office...}

Mustang Girls

Followed by a lunch date with my @pooky-jax who is currently driving the hotrod mustang.

_{Sammi Stang...}

_{Kelly drives it like she stole it...}

Hooters.!!

That is the destination. I could not believe it has been almost ten years since we have been to a Hooters Restaurant for some of their famous chicken wings.

Now this is just what the Dr. Of Head Shrinkage (mental health) ordered.!!

Thanks for stopping by to √ in on Me and the coolest cat to ever travel 1.2 million miles. We are survivors. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. But we share some kind of weird bond that makes us both special to each other. Samantha Jo makes me a better man.