An Overview in the Style of Dr. Seuss:

I do not like it in a crowd.

I do not like it to be loud.

I do not relish arguments,

Drama, or belligerence.

I do not like beer shaded green,

I do not like folks being mean.

So come next Saint Paddy's Day,

I will travel far away,

From bars and pubs and drunken louts,

Or alcoholic fights and shouts.

I changed the color of my divider from red to green for the holiday!

My small town decided it was time for some holiday revelry, so a sort of pub crawl was sponsored by the local businesses to drum up more business. People could get punch cards and visit participating bars and restaurants over the course of the day for entry in a drawing. I was more interested in food than booze, so I started out with fish and chips at one diner followed by a pineapple teriyaki chicken sandwich at another.

Alas, at this second stop, things started to go wrong. I had specifically asked for no dairy due to food allergies, but the cook added cheese to the burger. Why was there cheese on a pineapple teriyaki burger in the first place? The server noticed the error when he was putting the plate down, and brought another, but there was a wait. They made it right, but still, it was an omen.

After this, I finally met up with my disreputable misfit acquaintances at the seediest bar in town. I would refer to them as such regardless, but they shall go unnamed because of reasons to be made clear later. I had my first alcoholic drink of the evening here, a whiskey and Coke, on the dubious advice of one of these acquaintances. Jack Daniels is the usual for this drink, but I was advised to try a different option. I have no experience drinking the cola-and-whisky genre in general, so I can't say for sure whether this particular mix is something I'd recommend due to a lack of basis for comparison.

The next stop was more of a restaurant and bar. The waitress looked a bit frazzled from the influx of business and the shortage of other staff. I don't think they were ready for this event. This is where I drank the beer shaded green. It wasn't Guinness, but messing with an actual good beer by adding dye would be a real sin. I think it was Busch lager. Cheap American pisswater is a much better victim for vert.

A bike shop with a bar was the stop that followed. I ordered the special, a white port and tonic water cocktail. Something that could be slowly nursed for a while as I sat back and chatted with my companions. However, it was here that things took a very wrong turn. It seems one couple had been priming the pump, so to speak, and had already been drinking before going out to go drinking. Both had also been far less careful than I about quantities consumed. I still don't fully understand the details of what sparked the fight, but matters escalated. Voices grew louder, there was the clattering of a plastic cup on the floor, and people moving for the exit.

Apparently, he and his date had been arguing for a loooong time already today about personal matters, but things came to a head during this festive occasion, so he threw his beer at her, and several other folks nearby were collateral damage in the beer splash zone before he stormed out and abandoning his date at the bar. This very public display of private drama put a damper on everyone's mood. However, I was still trying to fill my punch card, so after everything settled down again, I grabbed some tacos from the Mexican restaurant before they closed.

Once a ride was procured to get the abandoned lady safely home, the final bar needed a visit to complete my card. I didn't want any more booze but the remaining friends had a lift on the way, so I bought them each a drink for the final punch on the card. We chatted a while about family drama, friends going through trauma, library censorship nonsense, the ever-present challenge of authoritarian busybodies trying to ruin everything, and so forth. They headed for home after a while once their driver appeared, and I turned in my completed punch card before the long walk back to my car and the short drive home.

Since I had paced my very moderate drinking over several hours after eating well, I was not contributing to the risk of drunk driving. Besides, this post will be finished and online before the drunks from the bar hit the streets. But now, looking back on the chaos that interrupted the evening, I'm not sure I wrote my name on the damn punchcard that was the point of this whole escapade!

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