Every day I pass by hundreds of people and never have a chance to know them or what their lives are like. No one has enough time or energy to give to everyone, but I never dampen the curiosity that arises.

Each person has a story.

Sure we can keep these stories to ourselves, we can ignore the stories of others who we disagree with or who don’t fit our ideas of successful or cool or aren’t living the way we want, but it’s at our own retirement.

Every story had a lesson, a perspective, a chance to expand ourselves and become greater. I am fueled by this opportunity for expansion and exploration found in connecting with people. I thrive in it but I also want to share with others the joy of this exploration.

The world is so rich with beauty. It’s full of pain and suffering too but in the end it’s our choice which one we want to focus on. There is beauty in every life. Even tyrants can love their children, even murderers can teach us about ourselves, even our enemies can become friends under the right circumstances.

I want to explore all of it. Show me the tyrant and the murderer, but more importantly, let me know my neighbor, especially the ones who live and love differently from me.

I am not particularly a fan of BDSM, but sit me in a room with a dominatrix and I will be just as excited as her clients (though for very different reasons). Let me understand her psychology. Let me try to reserve as much judgement as possible. Let me imagine myself enjoying her role or the role of her clients, even if it feels totally outside of my nature.

I want to understand, and I want to relate as humans, even if there are things that are fundamentally different.

When I was younger, this curiosity took the form of exploring different groups of friends, rich and poor, popular and unpopular, artistic and athletic and academic and other.

As I got older there were things that challenged me but I was thrilled to couch surf with a gay guy from Taiwan and find out that we could have a totally regular friendship without even paying attention to our different sexuality. Before staying with him I worried about staying in his apartment but after having a drink with him I realized he was totally cool and he invited me to stay an extra 2 weeks and help him get the guy he wanted and get over his alcoholism.

My desire to relate led me under a bridge to drink with homeless immigrants who lost their jobs during the Lehman shock of 2018, or to tiny villages in the mountains of Yuanan.

It led me to build friendship with women that many men said was impossible for them. It’s led to deep friendships with people from all different backgrounds and has made it very difficult to stereotype me. I’ve sat with politicians and criminals and felt comfortable with both. I have friends on all sides of the political and economic spectrum, libertarian, socialist, conservative, liberal and even openly fascist.

Sure there are some people who are easier than others and some who are more effort than they are worth, but I find that people are much more open and easy to connect with when you focus on the things you like about them, and let curiosity fuel your interactions rather than a desire to change them.

Curiosity is a super power.

I hope to plant seeds of curiosity wherever I can and to allow them grow and see what kind of relationship and changes they create. I can’t control how they grow, al I can do is choose where to plant them, and how much water to give them.

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