In this podcast we discuss whether its ok or not to hit children from the persepctive of 3 individuals from 3 different cultural backgrounds. none of us claim to be completely respresentative of our home country but we all try to share what we understand of the cultural "common sense" as well as our personal perspective.
This was the most challenging podcast I have done so far but it was a fun one because of the company. I like how we can disagree with respect and patience, not trying to prove the other person wrong but merely trying to share our own perspectives and listening and learning from each other. It would not be so easy without lovable guests like these two. Thank you so much Chingyi and @josediccus for joining me!
Josediccus asked to not be set as a beneficiary. Chingyi said she will collect her share of this posts rewards if she decides to finally join Hive 😂
▶️ 3Speak
🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎
My work:
📕 Confessions of the Damaged psychedelic spiritual fiction
🎸I + Everything - ambient folky music
🎬Self Help For Trolls - vlog
Confessions of the Damaged 1.1 and 1.2 - Out now!
Come join Hive Cross Culture to share your world and ideas.
Please consider delegating to @crossculture or following our trail 🙂
🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱
What @josediccus said about being responsible at a young age. I felt that. I'm the last child but my parents never made me think for a second that I could depend on anyone.
So from a young age, they told me that if they left this life I was going to be alone so the best I could do for myself was fix my life and get responsible as early as possible. They know I'll have no tangible inheritance to fall back on and really, my older siblings have their own lives to take care of so I was generally alone.
While I still take them as my primary providers, they generally don't give me much anymore.
I'd like to be on your show at some point. I love this topic. Talking about my childhood always brings me new clarity every time I think about it.
I never got training through beating though. I was generally a good kid so beating was never the right punishment for me. It never helped me. I never deserved that pain and I can count how many times I was beaten personally.
I still think it's barbaric. It's not the best way.
I’m really glad to hear some other opinions, which is why I was excited, despite being a little nervous about talking about this kind of issue.
My opinions on a lot of things differ A LOT with most standard western views or even acceptable western views. I don’t think child labor is necessarily a bad thing, and can actually be a good thing, as long as it’s not forced or excessive. It sounds like it could be a great experience to teach kids about the realities of the world. I draw A line at exploiting kids though, taking advantage of their vulnerability or lack of experience.
I am glad I grew up in a gentle environment but sometimes I feel like it didn't prepare me to protect someone or to face someone who might be a potential threat. In some ways I feel psychologically weak compared to some friends from rougher upbringings, but I know I'm tougher than a lot of people in some ways. I'm not saying it's good to grow up around violence, but perfect peace and harmony isn't always perfect either.
I feel like my parents might have had similar attitudes to Many Nigerian parents but mine were more removed from reality because of our environment. America has welfare systems, and while they were never that great and have only gotten worse, that’s one safety net. Another is Debt and home ownership. No one wants to see their house or go into debt, but it’s absolutely something that gives you more peace of mind. I was technically “homeless” for a while without money but I’d never actually consider myself really homeless because (aside from the fact that I chose that situation) I had an active credit card in my pocket for emergencies and that’s something many real homeless people don’t have.
There is a tiny checklist for who I will ask to be on the show, so I’m a little nervous about getting more requests like this but you were ACTUALLY #1 on my list of people I wanted to ask from Hive and haven’t yet had on so I might as well make that public since you brought it up 😂.
I grew up in a rough environment but I never learned to protect myself. Thankfully, I've always had people come into my life, like me and just want to protect me and speak up for me. It's one of the little blessings I'm grateful for.
I'm grateful you had the kind of experience you had as a kid; the good, the bad and the ugly. It's all a part of what makes you the amazing person that you are. You're more aware and have a much deeper understanding of things. It's quite rare.
Why does this make me feel really good????
You made me feel pretty good here too. That was ...🙈🙈🙈🙈😝thank you so much.
It's not mere flattery. I mean it.
I disagree with beating children. Even though I'm only a volunteer but I usually work very hard to keep them entertained and I try my best to let them know the consequences of not receiving an education. Basically, I had to tell them that if they are illiterate, they can get cheated very easily, especially if they had to sign an agreement to purchase land, property, etc. Their hard work goes to waste when they get scammed. Sometimes, I have a feeling that only those with early childhood education or child psychology majors should become parents. A majority of other ignorant and entitled people who fXXked irresponsibly did too much unintentional damage to their kids. This is could be a reason for so much unhappiness in the world.
It may sound strange but I think the best thing is for someone to overcome their fears as much as possible and be able to accept things not going as they plan. It'd be nice if they could control their emotions and not pass on drama to others, but that's why I talk about overcoming fear, a lot of that drama comes from fear.
I have seen very few true adults, although I think it is changing.
But I don't think it could ever be perfect so it's ok that there are these problems as long as they can improve over time.
Every time I come to your podcasts lately it's late as I quickly go through the community and hubby is sleeping, so I can't put the sound on. Kind of wishing you had a transcript too.
Is there a way to automatically generate one??
I have no idea. It wouldn't surprise me if there was these days. I see a lot of videos on YouTube with subtitles which seem to be automatically generated. At least I'm guessing they are because it sometimes seems to miss hear words and write something else. I'm not sure how it would do with strong accents in that case.
If this ever blows up, I might come find you 😉
I do not agree with beating children. It does not necessarily teach discipline or obedience only possibly conformity out of fear. It is a form of bullying and only alienates the child from the parent. No one likes to be hit for no any reason - most certainly not a child who looks to the adult for security and safely. It is not a good approach.
I think this kind of practice will decrease as overall violence from crime and also with the relaxation of government control. We have a very strong concept of punishment as a culture. For me physical and mental punishments are the same, and I am against both except as a last resort. More than anything though I think children should have a refuge from the power dynamics of their parent-child relationship, either their friends, their community or other relatives
I think, different people would see this based on their sociocultural perspective and upbringing this is why I don't think establishing a basis of "rightness" or "wrongness" exists in this situation. Many cultures differs when it comes to disciplining kids or teaching them the right way. I think whatever works is whatever works. At the end of the day, I'm glad we tended to differ in most of our views on that podcast. Ching Yi's perspectives were great as well. I can't see better people to talk to this except you both. It's been an amazing time, ever. Since the first episode.
Keep killing it Zack. Hahaha
I don’t even think in terms of right and wrong, I may use these words to communicate to people sometimes. I think in terms of love and fear, effective or ineffective and “in line with my values” or not in line. I am a bit anarchistic so it makes sense that I’d be against most displays of power 😝. All of us are trying to figure out what works so we can learn more from discussing it and I hope we can help make discussion easier for people.
I am really happy with where this is going and I’m looking forward to our next one 🔥🔥🔥
Looking forward to the next one too, I'm back with battling my ulcers, it's why I've not been able to leave a comment over 13 hours now. The pain hahaha. Anyways I think this one has been the most exciting ever.
Take care of yourself man! Get some sleep and all that. We aren't going anywhere
So, where do we place this part of the scripture "Spare the rod, and spoil the child" 🤔
My auty, preach on
Hahaha 🤣😂😂
Our parents have different ways of training us which they thinks is the very best they think and it has help us in great ways.
@tipu curate
Upvoted 👌 (Mana: 13/43) Liquid rewards.
So I had this open saw a bit of it and probably got carried away by something only to find the tab still open today.
I m glad it didn't go off as I still get to share.
I feel beating children is a lot cultural than human. We weren't meant to be beating to sense, the ideal thing is reason to sense. If I make a child see reasons why what he did is wrong and he accepts and apologizes ( they ll have to be thought to do this) I see no reason beating.
By the way I say this as someone who was beaten in the past. Not that I see them as wrong now, I saw it as correctional in their own ideaology.
But spoiling the child with the rod also draws some concern.
Great show.
Here is a detailed summary article about the episode:
Exploring Cultural Perspectives on Discipline: A Nuanced Discussion
In this thought-provoking discussion, our guests delved into the complex and often controversial topic of disciplining children, drawing from their diverse cultural backgrounds. The conversation highlighted the nuances and challenges inherent in this sensitive issue.
Differing Approaches to Discipline
The guests shared their personal experiences growing up in different environments. One guest, who was raised in Nigeria, described a culture where physical punishment, such as beating with belts, was commonly used as a disciplinary tactic. He explained that this was often seen as a necessary and even loving way to correct a child's behavior, with the goal of instilling responsibility and moral values.
In contrast, the other guest, who grew up in a more Western cultural context, expressed strong opposition to physical punishment, viewing it as abusive and potentially damaging to a child's development. He emphasized the importance of positive reinforcement and open communication as more effective means of guiding a child's behavior.
The Complexities of Cultural Context
The discussion underscored the significant role that cultural context plays in shaping societal norms and attitudes towards child-rearing practices. The guests acknowledged the difficulty in making universal judgments, as what may be considered unacceptable in one culture could be viewed as a legitimate form of discipline in another.
One guest highlighted the nuance involved, noting that the intent behind the physical punishment, rather than the act itself, was often the determining factor. He explained that in his upbringing, beating was not done out of anger or malice, but rather as a purposeful and systematic approach to correcting behavior and instilling values.
The Challenges of Parenting
Both guests recognized the inherent challenges of parenting and the importance of being mentally and emotionally prepared for the responsibility. They discussed the prevalence of parents who are ill-equipped to handle the demands of raising children, leading to potentially harmful disciplinary practices.
The guests emphasized the need for greater support systems, education, and societal shifts to help parents develop the necessary skills and mindsets to effectively guide their children's development without resorting to physical punishment.
Towards a More Holistic Approach
As the discussion progressed, the guests acknowledged the complexities involved and the difficulty in finding a universal solution. They recognized the value in open and respectful dialogue to better understand different cultural perspectives and explore alternative, non-violent approaches to discipline.
The guests expressed a desire to continue this conversation, highlighting the importance of seeking common ground and finding ways to address the underlying issues that contribute to the use of physical punishment, while respecting the diverse cultural contexts in which these practices have been rooted.
It's funny, none of us have children so we are not the most qualified to talk on this but I think it was still a conversation worth having