BookBabble #69: "The Obstacle is the Way" by Ryan Holiday

The ancient art of turning adversity to advantage…

Ryan's back with some more Stoic wisdom. Going back a few Babbles, we covered The Daily Stoic which was a series of meditations and quotes based on old writings from leading figures of Stoicism and Holiday's expansion on those points.

He has also authored a few other books like Ego is the Enemy, and this one right here. As the title and subtitle suggest, it's not just about dealing with challenges and getting by, but actually flipping it to our advantage and turning it in to something positive.

A Jedi move for sure, and one that's great to get a handle on. Not just waiting for the storm to pass, but embracing the situation and maybe even coming out on top. It has been said in other texts that there is always a seed of success in each failure, so it's about finding and nurturing that, as well as making us stronger and more resilient.

Ok, let's pick out some highlights and see what we're dealing with.

Some great quotes from the book followed by my thoughts…

While others are excited or afraid, we will remain calm and imperturbable. We will see things simply and straightforwardly, as they truly are—neither good nor bad.

It's all about maintaining equilibrium and not being shaken. This can be seen as cold or emotionless (an incorrect view of being 'stoic') but is more about being calm and acting on the situation. Not letting your emotions run wild, assessing what's in your control, then doing something about it if possible and necessary.

Everything is neutral anyway, and it's us that puts our opinion and judgements on to situations, adding elements, making assumptions and all manner of things. This can then make things worse or just more confusing or chaotic.

sangfroid

Sangfroid means composure or coolness shown in danger or under trying circumstances. Taken literally from French means 'cold blood' although we're not talking cold-bloodedness in its more negative sense.

It's not that you don't have sympathy/empathy or are ruthless, but rather not allowing emotions to run riot and just dealing with the situation at hand methodically based on facts and what you can do about them.

Another way of putting it is poise under pressure, which is much nicer and describes great athletes in their zone.

Source

opportunity in every disaster

This is what it's all about… there is an opportunity lurking in there somewhere. We need to find out what it is and make full use of it. Never let a good disaster go to waste! ;)

Warren Buffet’s famous adage to “be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful.”

Doing the opposite of the masses. Not just for the sake of being different or being some sort of 'rebel without a cause' but knowing that when people act a certain way, it may be to your advantage to do the opposite (or at least a little different). Buy when there's blood in the streets as it were.

Grace and poise

Going about your business in a relaxed, yet determined way. Being friendly and open, whilst getting the job done. There's a grace about how people can handle themselves and a poise that some people have. There's that air of taking things as they are and an inner confidence that things will work out just fine.

Uncertainty and fear are relieved by authority. Training is authority.

There's a lot of fear and uncertainty out there (some manufactured or encouraged), so it needs calm heads from those with authority in a given situation. That could be in a more conventional 'leader' sense, but authority is more of an attitude that someone can apply to whatever circumstances they find themselves in.

Take your situation and pretend it is not happening to you. Pretend it is not important, that it doesn’t matter. How much easier would it be for you to know what to do? How much more quickly and dispassionately could you size up the scenario and its options? You could write it off, greet it calmly.

This is interesting. Not in a deluded, dissociation, not dealing with reality sense, but detaching yourself from the immediate situation and zooming out and viewing it as an observer. There you're a little more impersonal and you can think how you might advise another person what to do in that situation… freeing you from your own mind and getting out your own way.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.

This is the Serenity Prayer which is often used with addiction treatments but of course applies to the wider world. That's a central piece of Stoic wisdom, that being, controlling the controllable.

If you can't change it, then you need to get to a place where you simply accept it as it. And if you can change it, decide if it needs to be or not, and if so, do what's necessary!

Source

Focus on the moment, not the monsters that may or may not be up ahead.

Stay in the moment is very easy to say and often said, but it is difficult to be so. This would be the ultimate aim and everyone would be much happier if they could just deal with the moment at hand and only look forward or back where it makes sense to do so, and not dwell or concern ourselves with either.

If we can do things now that will remove or minimise the 'monsters' up ahead then we can do so, otherwise just keep right on and when we reach them they may have disappeared anyway, or a way round might present itself. And if not? Then we deal that there and then… in that moment.

Demosthenes lost the inheritance he’d been born with, and that was unfortunate. But in the process of dealing with this reality, he created a far better one—one that could never be taken from him.

I don't know (or can't remember) the full story with Demosthenes, but inheriting a fortune isn't necessarily a 'good' thing (not 'bad' either). Of course losing it would be terrible, but in this case this led him on to better things, much like us if a business fails, we may have more insight for future dealings and become far more successful as a result.

No one is coming to save you.

Yeah, that's the thing, you're on your own on this one. Yes, other people are out there who can help, but you have to participate in your own rescue, and you have to be the one to make it happen. If you get some help along the way then even better, but you will need to get things moving and put yourself in the position to receive it.

genius often really is just persistence in disguise.

As discussed in the last BookBabble, genius isn't some whimsical engrained talent (although that may play a part) but the sheer volume of hours thrown at a particular thing at a very young age. By the time these kids are even into double figure years, they're already a master at their craft. Not all geniuses of course, but most of those we call geniuses had this trait, so perhaps not much of a secret or magic to it.

It's a little more than just persistence of course, but the point is, large amounts of continuous persistence will eventually take you to those higher grounds through time and repetition. Those with all the talent in the world and lack of ongoing application will only shine for a while and not hit those heights (not sustainably anyway).

If you think it’s simply enough to take advantage of the opportunities that arise in your life, you will fall short of greatness. Anyone sentient can do that. What you must do is learn how to press forward precisely when everyone around you sees disaster.

You certainly do need to take advantage of opportunities that come your way at some point, or you won't get anywhere. However it takes more than just that which all people could do although many don't.

Being able to get punched in the face, rise and thrive repeatedly puts you on a different level. And it's those times when everyone retreats and are swamped by the problems, and you meet them head on as well as even benefit from them, is what sets you apart.

Life speeds on the bold and favors the brave.

Fortune favours the brave! It's a common phrase and sentiment and with good reason. Most aren't operating that way and are hanging back waiting for direction and permission. Those going for it in all manner of situations will learn quickly and push on with what they need to do.

Swift and Bold is the motto of the British Army's The Rifles regiment… act fast and bravely. Deal with it, rinse and repeat.

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Video review by FightMediocrity on YouTube:

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Thanks Ryan! Anything Else?

As mentioned, Holiday produces content on Stoicism and his books lean on that theme even when not mentioned explicitly. He's obviously a believer in that way, as are many others. A good philosophy that is devoid of religious affiliation and is more of a way of thinking and being in order to navigate the world effectively.

That's a worthy ideal, and we can always mix and match with what works for us, our beliefs and other strategies etc. The book itself I read some time back so it's not as fresh in the mind, but a great one nonetheless which holds plenty of insights for those into Stoic and similar ideals, or Holiday's work. Embracing this whole area has to have its benefits.

I may well cover Ego is the Enemy (and anything else related) in future, but I think working on those seeming obstacles and allowing them to help drive us on to great things is a good idea for today :)

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First image my own, other images and video linked to source

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• 1-50: First 50 BookBabbles
• 51: THE DAILY STOIC - Ryan Holiday
• 52: MAKE TIME - Jake Knapp & John Zeratsky
• 53: GRIT - Angela Duckworth
• 54: WHAT I TALK ABOUT WHEN I TALK ABOUT RUNNING - Haruki Murakami
• 55: THE PURSUIT OF PERFECT - Tal Ben-Shahar
• 56: THE SLIGHT EDGE - Jeff Olson
• 57: CONTAGIOUS - Jonah Berger
• 58: THE RICHEST MAN IN BABYLON - George S. Clason
• 59: THE 5 AM CLUB - Robin Sharma
• 60: THINK LIKE DA VINCI - Michael Gelb
• 61: INFLUENCE - Robert Cialdini
• 62: THE ONE THING - Gary Keller
• 63: THE 12 WEEK YEAR - Brian Moran & Michael Lennington
• 64: THE POWER OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND - Joseph Murphy
• 65: THE UNTETHERED SOUL - Michael A. Singer
• 66: ON WRITING WELL - William Zinsser
• 67: PRINCIPLES - Ray Dalio
• 68: HYPERFOCUS - Chris Bailey

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