The Places We Find Ourselves

One afternoon, I found myself sitting on a bench at Plaza Independencia. It was partly cloudy, and the humidity was incredible. I saw locals and tourists strolling around the plaza—the plaza is vibrant as ever, as the city celebrated Sinulog not too long ago. Sitting, watching people, and just appreciating time to pass by, I hadn't experienced it in the longest time. I had so much work to do and rushed every day. I used to burn myself out, and it had become a habit. The last quarter was rough. Problems here and there, everything in my life was in disarray. As if nothing will eventually become better. Everything was in the wrong places.

I'm sure I had my fair share of frustrations and falls, like many others. And enough's been said about the imperfect world and how we struggle. And yet, and yet I sift through the losses, the times I've felt stuck, the things that made me want to sit still and do nothing. The silent battles I thought I was winning becomes a long-dreaded war. I win momentarily, and here comes another one. I was trapped in a vicious cycle that needed a stop. It burnt out the crap out of me now and then. I skipped fun and play to fit everything, which cost me more than I was willing to give up. It calls for a fresh start more than ever. I outgrew the place I had served for eight years. I loved what I was doing there, but not enough to keep me from staying. So I quit and moved on.

While sitting at the plaza, I had so much time for the right reason after leaving the job, but anxious about what will happen next. Change is difficult, but it brings the growth I need and rediscovers my sense of purpose. It's a new chapter, but before moving towards achieving new goals. It calls out a time for reflection and retrospection.

As we go through life, we spend a great deal of time searching for our place. We look for meaning to make sense of life. A place where we can belong and find our true selves. The journey to self-discovery helps us explore ourselves, the places we grow, the heritage and culture that shapes our identity, and how they play a role in helping us find ourselves.

Into the Fort San Pedro

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Walking around the Plaza Independencia, I ended up at the doorstep of Fort San Pedro. The last time I went to the fort was in 2013. It was a history class field trip. I went to fulfill a paper for the class. When I ended up inside Fort San Pedro this time, it was an unexpected visit, and there is an excellent place to retrospect.

The contemporary music of a blind musician put a smile on everyone, some danced with the beats, so the gracious ushers welcomed every local and tourist. The arch door is like a portal to the past—the rich heritage, culture, and stories that define who we are and what it was. The wall hung its history. Rewind a centuries earlier, when Fort San Pedro was not famous for tourists to visit but a functional military fortress.

Miguel Lopez de Legaspi commissioned the structures in 1565, and the conquistador founded the earliest Spanish settlement in Cebu. It has had a fair share of changes from wood to stone and coral blocks in its towering walls. Each corner of the triangular fort harbors a bastion—Ignacio de Loyola in the southeast, La Concepcion in the southwest, and San Miguel in the north. One turret stands at each corner as a watchtower. There are cannons on top of the fort with ornamental plants and trees, but fewer are left. Today, Fort San Pedro has become a park serving as an oasis of the bustling city center and a museum retelling history.

The lush green lawns surrounding the fortress are like an extension of Plaza Independencia itself. Fort San Pedro offers peace and serenity, a welcome respite from the past-faced and noisy city. But it is not what it was before; there are constant struggles of pain and sadness within its walls. The fort was a military barracks, a prison, and a constant reminder of the wars we had.

The Places We Had Been

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It was an afternoon that I needed to hear these old stories of Cebu, and the fort from the tourist guides was beyond refreshing. It sparks reflection and exploration for self-discovery. I was strolling around and appreciating Fort San Pedro when it dawned on me that a place was standing still amidst the bustling city, offering peace and serenity to those who take shades inside. It was like our life. We constantly push and rush to do more work and need help finding a break because if we do, a little time means a little more food on the table.

But as we look closely within ourselves, our self is begging for a little break. The child within us needs time to play. A deeper understanding of ourselves is like looking into our heritage and culture in the places where we grow and thrive. The stone facade and its wear in the fort's architecture remind us that even how solid or impenetrable we can be, we are still vulnerable and slowly dying inside. As we learn about our past, we gain an insight into what shapes us as who we are and how we can move forward. While inside Fort San Pedro, I see a new light and embrace a new journey to self-discovery.

So if you're on a journey of self-discovery, why start by exploring your heritage and culture? We never know what we might discover within ourselves and the places we have been. Know more about Fort San Pedro in the next blog!

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Author's Note: How are you? I hope you're doing well. I was on a hiastus for most of 2022 but I'm definately back. I'm starting a new Blog series called The Places We Find Ourselves The series talks about about Heritage, Culture and Self-discovery to restart publishing content on the platform. I hope to see you around the comment section.

_{All photos are from the author. Facts presented about Fort San Pedro is referenced from Philippine tourism authority}

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