CELEBRATION IN THE AIR

in The Ink Well15 days ago

I woke up that faithful morning by my alarm that wouldn't quit buzzing. I groaned sleepily using my pillow to cover my face in an attempt to block out the noise. But it kept on ringing, chasing away the remaining strand of sleep I desperately held onto. Sighing in defeat, I forced myself off of the bed and into the bathroom. Waking up every morning is always a thug of war for me. As I got ready for the day I couldn't help but be happy. Today was my birthday after all. I was finally turning twenty. Feeling over the moon, I brought out one of my expensive favorite dress to wear for that day, even though I was just going to work, which I usually went to on a daily basis. It was a beautiful red dress that clinged to my skin, show my curves

I looked at myself in the mirror. Satisfied at the image that stared right back at me, I smiled to myself. I took the time to do my hair beforehand. So I really looked stunning. I felt beautiful. Grabbing my handbag and my phone, i climbed downstairs to the living room where my siblings would probably be getting ready for school.

However, as I went down the stairs, the living room was unusually quiet and dark, which was rare. I knew I had woken up early. I always wake up early due to the nature of my job, but my mum wakes up even earlier than me. And normally, my siblings were already up by this time, either bickering while having breakfast, or running around to get one thing or the other as they prepared for school. So the extreme quietness was definitely unusual. The only light I could see was coming from the dining table, so I headed there. When I got closer, I saw a beautiful cake, very well decorated, sitting on the table with a small lollipop at the top screaming twenty. The light shone only on the cake.

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I was beyond surprised. I smiled to myself feeling delighted at their actions. This was really thoughtful of them, I thought to myself.

Going closer to get a good look at the cake, I couldn't help but admire it. But where was everyone? I asked myself. As I made an attempt to touch the cake, my two younger siblings suddenly jumped out from under the table, startling me effectively as they shouted surprise. Immediately, the whole room was lit, and my parents came up behind me, startling me also while shouting surprise. I was speechless, to say the least. They began singing the usual happy birthday song while I stood there. They had taken their time to decorate the dining room with balloons. I couldn't contain the overwhelming joy I was feeling anymore. I grabbed each of them and hugged them happily.

" Alright, it's time to cut the cake" my mom chimed, interrupting our chattering.

"I'll go get the knife" Bobo, our last born, said as he scurried off into the kitchen.

I went to work that morning feeling over the moon. I had caught the cake as the birthday celebrant, and we all devoured it rather too quickly. I bade them farewell as I left for work. While my siblings went to school

The day went on with me receiving compliments, gifts and praises from people.

" Wow! Presh you look gorgeous" my colleague and friend at work complimented me and I couldn't help but laugh.

" So where is my gift?" I asked her bossily.

"Don't worry, I've prepared something big for you, I'll give you it later before we close" she said jokingly, and I smiled at that.

I came back home with both my hands full of gift bags from my friends and well-wishers. This was the best birthday I have ever had, I said to myself as I walked in. My siblings helped me with the bags while I went upstairs to freshen up. However, the scream that left my lips as I was in my room got all of them rushing upstairs to see what was happening.

" Ada, what happened, my mom asked with concern written all over her face.

I looked at all of them to see the concern plastered on their faces. I beamed from ear to ear as I told them how I had just gotten admitted into the university. They all shouted with me as we jumped up and down. Indeed, the day was truly blessed.

"Sister", our last born called

"Yes" I said, looking down at him.

" This is a double celebration for you" he said, and I smiled at that.

He was indeed right, it was a double celebration for me.

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Hello @perfect20,

This story is very nicely told. You show good attention to detail, which helps to place us on the scene as we read. Your piece also has a good arc. The story is well constructed.

A few helpful suggestions, though:

  • You probably meant to say 'fateful' rather than 'faithful' in the first paragraph. This is a common error, but the words do not have similar definitions.
  • You use 'clinged' as a past tense for cling. The proper simple past tense is 'clung'.
  • You speak of a 'thug', when you likely mean 'tug'. The simple misspelling changes the meaning of the word completely.

These are just a few of the minor errors I picked up as I read. The piece is still good, worthy. Just, in the future you might keep these tips in mind.

Keep writing :)

Thanks for your observations. I'll work on that

⭐️⭐️