Through my personal experience, I've undergone a mindset change

in The Ink Well11 months ago

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I have lived in the city of Lagos state Nigeria for 8 years with my family. Lagos State is one of the biggest cities in Nigeria with a large population. It could take hours for one to visit a friend living in another part of Lagos and that's how big the state is. In my 3rd year of living in Lagos with my husband, I received news from him about securing an asset. I inquired about the type he wanted us to go for and he said it was land. After describing the location of the landed property, and his plan for us to build our house over there instead of renting, I wasn't so pleased with that due to the location. The place was still a bit underdeveloped but since he said he wasn't planning on building there immediately, it was fine by me. I couldn't imagine going to live in such an underdeveloped location after living in a developed place, I thought to myself.

I tried so much to convince my husband on reselling the land even without bothering to visit the property. My mind was just made up on not leaving the big town to a lesser location. I must confess that I wasn't so encouraging to my husband through my attitude. You can feel bitterness in my actions then. Securing a landed property in the main town cost millions of naira and I knew my husband could not afford such then but rather choose one of the 4 million naira that he could afford. I would have just exercised patience and supported his dream of becoming a landlord instead of giving him attitude even when I knew that he can't afford where my mind is. One good thing about Lagos state is that development is too fast. It doesn't take long for a particular community to develop once people start buying land there.

Fast forward to 3 years ago, the cost of rented apartments in the town was almost doubled. From #750,000 to 1.2 million. That was a huge increase by our landlord, there was also a general increase in house rents in Lagos state and then my husband decided of building his own house instead of paying such an amount on rent alone. At that time, I decided to visit the landed property for the first time, on getting there I discovered that the place wasn't underdeveloped as I thought. Many people are already living there, and I could see buildings and ongoing projects left and right, yet I wasn't still satisfied because it wasn't as developed as where we rented. It became another issue between my husband and me. He expected me to support him and was disappointed in me. He started the project in July 2019 and by January 2020, the house 🏠 was ready, yet I wasn't still happy. I went to the extent of asking him to rent the house out, so we can continue being a tenant in the main city of bad! He didn't listen to my rant but took his decision of relocating us to his new house.

After two months of living in the house, I took a long breath and calm down, I reflected on so many things, and I regretted my actions from the beginning. Many people that came to our house were so happy with us, they knew that becoming a landlord in Lagos is one of the biggest achievements one can make irrespective of the location but I failed to see that. I was only after living in the big city forgetting that the big city was once underdeveloped, forgetting that, one can step up the game when one achieves a certain level financially. It's been two years since I am living in our new house, the location is good enough, just 30 minutes without traffic to where we rented a house before. Everything I need for living is still around here, be it school, hospital, market, etc.

Imagine now that the inflation is hitting our world today, if I should have added house rent to the other cost of living and school fees, I might be going crazy by now but here I am, I have no business with any landlord, this was the future my husband saw earlier but I failed to reason with him. Honestly, there is now a big change in my mindset out of my experiences so far.


What I see from this post is that you have the ability to learn and grow. It's hard to admit our errors, and a lot of us unfortunately get more stubborn with age, but you've admitted to yourself what you consider a substantial error, and figured out how to benefit from it. It takes humility and wisdom to do this. Good for you. 😊

Learning never ends... and I am still learning even from my mistakes so I can become better.
Thank you so for stopping 👍

Women!! 😉.

I loved the way you finally took to regret of your actions and it was all for a better cause. Opportunity comes but once. Your hubby must have seen or heard a lot before taking those steps. And I am glad he did.

It was a nice turn out for real and I am happy for you.

Yea...I later saw reasons practically but it took me time 😂
Glad it turned out well 👌
Thank you so much for stopping by 👍

Always welcomed ma. It’s my pleasure

There are some circumstances that sometimes we cannot understand at the beginning but when we start to bare with it we then realized how good it is for us.

This was exactly what happened to me 🫢🫢.you just captured the info here
Thank you so much for your kind words 👍❤️

One of the biggest challenges we face is admitting we are wrong and changing. You did well, and now maybe trust hubby more!

You are right, my biggest challenge..yes, I can trust hubby now 😂🤦

Lucky you honestly!
That hubby honestly snubbed you lmao... do you know what that means right now? Hmmm omoh! House rent is increasing front and back! I get you though! Everyone wants a developed environment for themselves and their family... no one wants to be left aback! But the advantages are more prominent, lastly, everything is settled! No more rent and now you will be more focused!

Hubby snubbed me eehh 😂😂
He even asked me to go rent my own house wherever I want and leave him and his boys in the house 😅...that was when it clear for my eyes ,🤦

It's difficult living in the big town for years and all of a sudden, demotion 😂... however the place is developing now I am beginning to love his idea and also seeing my foolishness then... lolz

Happy new year sis♥️🥰🧡

This post is written with such honest and reasonableness. Your reluctance at first was understandable. This is the sort of thing that can sow discord in a marriage. Fortunately, circumstances persuaded you that moving was the right thing to do. It could have worked out otherwise, but didn't.

This is a post to which many of us can relate as we all go through a change in opinion as circumstances change.

Thank you for sharing this with us. Thank you for engaging with other authors in the community.

I am glad to know that you understood my story so clearly. Thank you so much for your kind words, we will keep learning and undergoing positive changes that will make us a better person.

Good to know that your husband stood his ground. Thank God you have a changed mindset now. Being a landlord in Lagos is the best thing that can ever happen to any one no matter the area.
Those areas people see as undeveloped are turning to GRA now with mighty and sophisticated buildings. So Sis, go home and thank your husband again for being a real man.
Meanwhile, congrats dear. Give us the location to come for the house warming ceremony. 😃. It calls for celebration

Hahaha 😂
Adora-eu is here ooo 😂
Happy new year 🎈🎊🎈
And yes, hubby tried... development is fast and I no longer regret this mind changing fast 😂👍👌

Yeah, am here now. How is Lagos?

Everything change with time and in this digital world the development of any is faster compared to previous times. Besides the value of land has increased so much that many people never imagined that time.
I think your husband made a good decision and it become a very valuable asset now.

Yea, he made a wise mind was only clouded with many flashy things but here we are...the place is nice and no regrets...thanks for stopping by 👍

How does being a landlady feel?

I bet it feels better than being a tenant😅.

Just give it time, in a matter of few years, the lands around your new apartment would appreciate and people would start building around.

We had a similar experience with the house were living in presently. When my dad started building, you could barely spot any other buildings around but now, it's like the center of the city. You can't even find lands to buy again because everywhere has been taken

Awwwwwn 🥰
It feels good to be a landlord ☺️
I failed to see the future but I am fine now

My mind has taken a shift 😂
Thank you so much for stopping by 👍🤗

I like the fact that you're accepting your mistake and invariably making room for more growth🥂✨

Thank you so much for stopping by 👍🤗

It's always a pleasure☺️.

Great one. Good that your mindset has changed. Had it been your husband didn't see that future earlier he would have subjected to your decision or if he didn't stand firm of what he saw, he would have failed in direction and you, @nkemakonam89 wouldn't have been beneficiary of it.

To have patience is a good virtue to possess as a Christian. Patience, is one the fruit of the spirit.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Galatians 5:23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Gradually, you will get rid of impatient.

Thank you, for this wonderful piece. I have learned as well.

I believe you must have thank, hug and kiss your husband for that vision he held unto.

He is a man full of wisdom and vision. God bless Him for not letting that dream die.

Unswerving decision

What a great addition to my post
I am grateful
Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️

You are welcome