After a week away from home, it felt good to wake up in my truck this morning. To raise from my bed, walk barefoot outside and feel the earth under my feet.
It was so cold in Ireland and although I craved to take my shoes off and walk the earth. It just didn't happen, I felt a little too fragile. I needed to just keep busy and keep myself warm.
This morning though, I got to perform my usual morning ritual and it felt so good. To top it off, Spring arrived whilst I was away and the warm sun greeted me, as my skin soaked it up eagerly.
Taking a deep breath, I took in the mountain view around me and it felt real good. I felt energised and so grateful to have the life that I do. That I get to return to here and continue to heal.
To process everything that happened, this last week.
It's hard to explain how you feel when one minute, the man who was always present in my life and helped create you, is suddenly no longer.
I have certainly thought about it, but nothing really prepares you, for the fact that you will never see your father again. That you will never have the conversations you always hoped you would have, that you might even create a relationship, somehow.
It's sad to think that there is no more time, for him.
I am really happy with the life that I lead. It's not for everyone, but I feel so fulfilled by it and I felt, that by telling my father, it would be a gift to him. That no matter what happened, between us, I am happy and content.
That I, am not afraid to live.
Yes I went through a period, where I was afraid, afraid to be seen, to make a noise. To rise up from the darkness that had engulfed me.
But, that was another life time, to me. Right now, it is all about the simple things.
The human connections that I have made, with people who have done nothing but support and empower me. Whose presence in my life, have blown my heart right open, finally allowing me to let love flow through me.
A love that I passed onto my father as he passed, something that I never thought that I could do.
But, I have begun to understand, that the greatest healing I could receive, would be, if I first, would past some healing onto my father.
Please be strong as this period would be tough for you but you would scale through it. Thy lord will guide you through this period.
Thank you @miraclle, I am feeling very strong xxx
You'll be fine
Awesome to read this.
Welcome back ( home ) ;<)
xxx
Thank you Vincent, much love to you friend xxxx