Over my life I've moved through various stages personally and professionally and with each change, and how I've changed as a person, so has how I dress. I was thinking about this today as I dressed for work and chose situation-appropriate clothing for a meeting in the boardroom of an international company I'm seeking to secure an account from.
When I was a kid my parents ensured I presented well despite a limited budget. They also ensured I was appropriately dressed although I can remember times when I was probably a little over dressed. At the time I probably grumbled about that, but looking back I am grateful my parents cared enough to ensure I was well, and appropriately, presented as I carried it forward.
I've worn many different types of clothing in my professional life from the most utilitarian to designer suits and everything in between. Some I felt comfortable in and more, myself, and others were worn for a specific purpose. An example?
I spent many years in the corporate world of commercial property and, despite being good at it, felt a little out of place. To mitigate that I relied upon my suit as a form of emotional armour which helped me perform my job as required. I guess I used it to create the illusion I was someone else when wearing that suit and that person wasn't shy, a little socially awkward and out of place; that person was a confident, results-oriented, professional and he got the job done. For the record, I got the job done.
Fashion changes so quickly these days, driven by consumerism, greed, hubris, the fear of missing out and other such factors and it's difficult to keep up. I'm not one to try though, I just wear what makes me feel comfortable, what's appropriate for the situation and what does the job. Cold, put a jacket on. Hot, take the jacket off - That sort of thing.
I think about what I wear as impressions, first or otherwise, are such important factors to building relationships. Arriving inappropriately dressed can negate even the best laid strategy to win business, or interest from a person. Arriving for a first date inappropriately dressed may not go so well right?
People judge others, it's a simple fact. Yes, hasty or pre-judgement may not be the best thing to do, but it happens.
Let's put judgement aside though; understanding that when people meet they evaluate, perceive and consider each other, can help a person see the benefit of a suitable level of presentation. Me arriving with a faded pair of trousers, belt not looped through all the belt-loops, unironed shirt half untucked, boots scuffed and dirty and the buttons on the shirt not done up in the proper sequence will give me less credibility and the perception of the prospect is going to be that, I didn't care enough to present well and the service I offer may be the same.
If I arrive in a well-fitting suit, dark blue, ironed white shirt, polished boots, shirt buttoned and neck tie if appropriate, the prospect is more likely to respond and the appointment will probably go much better, or at least, there's no ground to be made up from starting with a bad perception as I've formed a good one.
Of course, arriving over-dressed isn't much good either as it can hint that one feels superior and that one is trying to loom or dominate over others which, in a professional setting, or personal for that point, won't often end well.
Thanks to my parents I've always put thought into what I wear and how I present myself. This extends to having a clean car, being punctual, organised, respectful and courteous. In my professional life I attribute a great deal of my success to these things; it opens doors, make people feel confident and connected and means I start from a strong position. In my personal life I've done the same. Arriving poorly or inappropriately dressed is not something I generally allow to happen and I think the right people notice and respond. This doesn't mean I always look immaculate, I do not; it's situational and if you saw me at the hardware store on the weekend you'd see a less than immaculate version of me.
I believe that through putting a little thought into one's presentation, clothing, manners, speech, body language, punctuality, focus and attention one gives to others and so on, and making sure it's situation-specific, a person can gain a better perception from others and feel better within themselves, and that can't be a bad thing; it works for me anyway. I don't believe that owning designer labels makes me a better person, I believe how I think and act makes me a better person and so I dress in ways that cause me to think better, feel better and have better attitudes.
How about you? Do you feel different when you wear different types of clothing, do you dress to the situation and perception you want to leave others? Do you understand what clothing makes you feel good and use that to your advantage? Are you a slave to designer labels and think it makes you a better person? Feel free to comment below if you like.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
The image is my own, one of my shirt collars.
Clothing is an interesting thing in this regard - it can essentially change a situation, people's attitudes and so on. I've never ever worn a high end designer label and I don't intend to. I find them pretentious and I also feel that I don't deserve that kind of price tag - it just doesn't work for me, it's reserved for those that buy them and feel comfortable in them. I don't.
As for presentation - if you buy clothing that fits well and is suited to your body type, is well looked after, you can get away with good quality second hand clothing as long as you wear it well. I have clothing that I would wear in a more corporate setting or for business meetings with clients, but I always make sure that I feel good in whatever I am wearing and it suits the occasion.
I'm quite happy with smart casual these days and I've never felt that my clothing takes away from anything I am or represent, I'm not self conscious about it either so I must be doing something right. It does change as you do and I think that getting to know yourself is the most important step.
You should write: The clothing doesn't deserve the price tag, not that you do not.
Sorry for the late reply Galen, I was on a roadtrip.
That's an interesting way of looking at it, perhaps I need to reframe the way I see it.
Don' worry about the lateness, it's no big deal.
You know what? When I first tried to change my style of clothing and see myself look good at it in front of the mirror, the first thing that I thought is "wow! I never thought that it will suit me well". It brings an immediate feeling that boosts my self-esteem and confidence. I feel like I discovered something great about myself. The abrupt inhibitions vanished and were changed by amazement. That is the time I realized that a different set of clothing brings several feelings. You may feel like a professional, a stylist, a fashion icon, a casual man, and a lot more but more importantly, we should wear clothes where we are comfortable.
It's really cool that you had this experience and I think it's a very valuable self-lesson with far-reaching benefits.
I often say attitude is everything and, because our thoughts often drive our attitudes, having feelings of happiness, a good self esteem and the understanding that we're being our best version will help us turn the right attitude into the right actions.
Well done, and thanks for commenting.
Like you, my parents always made a great effort to make sure that we were dressed appropriately for occasions. I have to agree with you that she did us a great service for all of our futures. Being comfortable in your clothing makes you feel more at ease, and definitely more confident.
In life, I have had to wear many different hats/many different dresses. Nothing makes me feel better than to be dressed well, which doesn't mean expensively, just appropriately. If I have to choose to overdress or underdress, I will always go a little over than under. Not crazy though. :)
Thanks for addressing this. I can't tell you how many people I see that truly don't know the meaning of dressing appropriately.
PS It doesn't have to cost a mint. They even have second-hand shops with kick-butt garments.
I use clothing to feel certain ways, like many others, although I don't need super-expensive ones, or a stitched on brand logo, to gain the feeling. I have nice things and appreciate them, but am just as comfortable in a pair of Levi's and a half-tucked shirt with my boots on in many circumstances..the key is knowing when that's appropriate and when one must up ones game. The grounding I had from my parents helps me know. You know? I think you know.
Also, I think clothing cannot mask a poor character or improve one; it's the person wearing the clothing that brings the whole package together. Do you know what I'm saying here? I guess, that a designer label won't help me see an asshole as anything but an asshole.
Thanks for commenting. It's Friday morning...I should probably drag my ass out of bed and get to work.
I'm pretty sure nothing will.
I honestly believe I know what you mean. I am just not nearly as fine-tuned in articulating as you are.
Good morning! Don't forget your milk money.
Lol...It's funny you said about the milk money...I forgot my wallet and had to go back home!
All good now though, sitting in a café waiting for my first appointment.
Oh, you just made me miss working.
Nope. I lie. :))
Lol. I will, it's Friday, will roll out predictably...and my bacon an scrambled eggs on toast just arrived.
Sweet Jesus! You live right! 😁
Oh, you just made me miss working.
Nope. I lie. :))
Enjoy your day!
This! I certainly believe so too. It doesn't have to be about the worth of the clothing but our mindset and comfort rather.
There's this saying that goes, "dress the way you want to be addressed"... So, our choice of clothing portrays our character. This is because people tend to judge a person's personality from a physical perspective.
Well, for me, I wear what I feel comfortable in as long as it's clean and looks good. I'm all about simplicity. I'm not a designer freak neither do I intend to be one in the future.
If people wish to judge me over what clothing labels I wear they can just move the fuck on because I'm not interested in them.
Indeed, that's the best way to be.
That's the attitude I like to give off in such situations.
Sure!
I usually wear my best when it I am stressed. It's true that is not how expensive or how cheap your clothes are, what's matter the most is how you forsee yourself wearing that clothes and your perspective towards it.
Wearing my best clothes is somehow a way of me to divert all.my stress to it.
Thank you for sharing this ♥️
It's a very easy way to help one find better thoughts and feelings I think and that is certainly a good thing as it will help a person find better attitudes also.
Clothing definitely has an effect on how I feel! Though I feel most comfortable in jeans and t-shirt and can most often be found wearing thus if I am with my friends or need to go shopping.
On the occasions where I do dress up, like at a wedding, for example, I often end up shocking my friends with my appearance. As dresses and fancy shoes are not something I would normally don. We won't even go into the make-up side of it, as I chose to put on make-up extremely rarely. It certainly does have an effect on how I feel and perhaps even on how I present myself.
It definitely has an effect on my body language, as dresses, well, you cannot be as carefree in them as with pants! Not unless you wish to show off what lies beneath anyway, haha!
Ah yes, sometimes what lies beneath must stay that way, for the most part. 😁
They say, clothes maketh the man, and I agree to some degree clearly...but, I draw the line at those wearing "designer" labels thinking they are better than anyone else due to those labels. Indeed, those who think that are often lesser people due to low self esteem and the need to lord over others thinking it will help them feel better about themselves.
I wore suits for so long, for work, so wearing suits to weddings didn't feel special. These days I tend not to wear suits for work so yeah, putting one on for a wedding or special occasion is kind of nice.
Anyway, thanks for your comment, and yes, jeans and a shirt is a good casual look that can also be rather attractive as well. It's my go-to as well...when I'm not wearing camo. Lol.
Well, I am pretty sure my husband might end up in a fight if I wasn't careful while wearing dresses, haha! He is rather protective like that, something I love about him. If someone shows the slightest disrespect towards me, he is there to ensure it doesn't continue.
I have no time for designer labels myself. And as for shoes, if they hurt me or are uncomfortable in any way, there is no way I am buying them or wearing them, no matter how 'good' they might look. I am fussy like that apparently.
I probably shouldn't mention I have camo in my closet as well, haha. Nothing beats a good pair of military boots either.
A husband should be protective and stand tall for his partner; it's what a real man would do. I'm glad to hear he is.
Ah ok, a boot lover. Well, have a got a post for you. I just got a new pair of 5.11 Tactical boots and have a post planned. Also, all women should have camo in the closet. It's a well known fact.
Yep! For me when I wear different sets of clothes I feel like I portray different "characters", if you will. Dressing up is actually pretty nice. 😊
Feeling nice is a good thing as it can affect other things we think and do, and if we get the feeling from a change if clothes then it's a very good thing.
It's like a domino effect. You feel good = makes other people around you feel good as well. In sum, everyone feels a tad good💖
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No, I just choose a dress that makes me comfortable.
That's the way to do it, designer labels don't make a person any better than the next.
Indeed! And that it shouldn't be a ticket to degrade other's appearance. Because I know some people mock others according to what they dress. But honestly, they're the kind of person who thinks poorly.
Sorry for being so nega, I just felt that way whenever I read/heard about someone being better because of wearing designer labels.
But you wearing a shirt and a jeans makes you cool, cute, and humble. 🥰
Those people are assholes.
I never said I wear designer labels. I said: "designer labels don't make a person any better than the next."
Sorry I didn't mean that way. And I know you never said that you wear designer labels. Sorry for the wrong use of word. It should be "think" and not "read/heard". And I'm also referring to the others. Not you.
Ah ok, I wasn't sure so thought I'd set it straight. No worries then.
👍🥰
I so much love parents with such heart, they can go to any length to make their children look nice, because looking tattered will potray a bad picture of them.
Also things may turn other way round if not for their concerns.
I agree.
This is well said, how actions matter regardless of what we are wearing. I love putting on clothes that make me comfortable though they are times I may have overdressed for a party 😂. I love looking good and my dress sometimes depict my mood.
Hmm I feel that as I grow older, I bother less about designer labels. Quality and comfortable clothes don't always have to be expensive. I think dressing to the occasion is still important, but I am not so concerned about others' perception (unless if it's a date or something hehe!).
Some do this. For me, I never cared for them or thought they would make me a better person. They're usually just an expansive way for a person to gain a momentary feeling of self worth, but it rarely, if ever, truly addresses what's wring in the first place.
Sure...But then...
So you are concerned, but you choose who counts.
😊
Lol, now that you mentioned, I think you are right! Didn't realise that.
Lol.