Straight and tangled lines

Walk the line, hold the line, don't cross the line, stay in line, tow the line. we've all heard these things in our lives, and probably done them at some stage; I know I have from time to time. My lines have rarely been straight though, and life doesn't work in straight lines.

If I was to draw a line from the very moment of my birth to this moment in time, Becca sitting cross-legged on her couch, laptop perched precariously on knees, pot of tea beside me, writing these words, it would be easy to draw that line as straight; time moves from point to point I suppose...but my life hasn't moved even remotely close to a straight path from point to point and it was those twists and turns I was thinking about today.

_{I took this image}

My life hasn't been straightforward. There's been difficult moments, some of which threatened to break me and, if I'm completely honest, probably did.

They don't define me however, and they definitely moved me in different directions giving me a little life experience to take along with me. The same is true for the brilliant moments I've experienced, so many of them, that straightened out those knots and twisted lines of adversity just a little, and brought me beautiful moments.

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That's how life is I think. It's a journey of one convoluted, often twisted, line which tangles itself and leaves us in a knotted ball or, while maybe not straight, presents beautiful curves of emotion, love, passion and feelings of happiness and contentment.

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I suppose sometimes the line between good and bad, joy or sorrow, success and failure, positive and negative can be blurred, that's how life works; it's indistinct, difficult to predict with much accuracy and can only be influenced to a small degree in reality. It's just life.

I was thinking about an event which occurred on this day, but some years ago. It profoundly changed my life, made it better, and I'd go as far as saying it was one of those life-defining moments; although, it was set in motion by a chain of events that brought about the deepest sorrow and feelings of despair I've felt in my life. As life has a tendency to do though, it twisted on itself then straightened somewhat and brought about some of the most amazing and momentous moments also, things that moved me forward to where I am today, and I love where I am.

I look those events and see blurred lines, a jumble of them, and none of them straight; the good and bad were intrinsically linked, one dependent upon the other just as the subsequent journey forward to this very moment was dependent upon, and only existed because, of those tangled moments.

I took time to think about those events today although didn't have the courage to take my diary and read what I wrote about it. I remember at this time every year and while recalling the pain and suffering, the emptiness I felt inside, causes some stress, I always remember the circuitous journey that seemed to unravel ahead of me as I moved forward from it to my place in life today.

I have a nice life and am in a good place physically and emotionally and, looking forward, see some straight lines ahead but know there's many twisted and tangled ones also...but despite all that, I'm buoyant about my future, excited, and all because those tangled lines left behind me; I wouldn't be me without them.

Becca 💗