Children are a gift to us as most people would say but the process of bearing these gifts is a bit scary to me and most days I would often convince myself that not all gifts should be yearned for.
You see, I never exactly thought about the childbearing process itself even though I have always known that I wanted children, for me, the process wasn’t something I ever bother researching until last year.
What happened last year if you may ask? Well I stumbled upon a thread on Twitter about pregnancy and the changes that came with it and after hearing various women talk about their experiences and the tearing they experienced amongst other things they went through, I mentally signed off and that was the beginning of my phobia.
At that point, I really couldn’t imagine going through all those things they spoke about, and my fear in recent times after researching has become way more than my yearning to have children.
Now I am not trying to be ungrateful because I know that there are women that want children but cannot have them and I know they wouldn’t mind going through all those things but, that doesn’t mean that I am still not scared.
Coupled with my fear of pregnancy, there is also a fear that comes with raising children in the world we live in especially being someone who went through abuse, I feel like as a parent I would live in a bit of anxiety if I have children and that might not be the healthiest way to raise children.
I know that at the end of the day, I might most likely have to deal with all these concerns, and hopefully, my fear will fade away soon enough.
I will love to hear from mothers who had these fears and how they successfully overcame them because I think it would help me a lot.
😃😃 Hi @khaleesii. It is VERY normal to have these fears, believe me. Every woman goes through this phase. Before I had my two sons, like you, I was scared and signed off having children. But when the time came, I totally forgot about my fears. I think what helped was having loving people around. This part is important.
I'll just say, don't worry too much. Every woman's experience is different. Yours may turn out smooth and beautiful you would want to have 5 or 6! 😃
Well, I guess it is true that everyone's experiences are different, hopefully, I get some luck if I d but 5 or 6 never!!! Who would raise them 😆
Before I had my son, I always had that fear too.
There's this saying about childbirth itself, they say it is 50/50 but we've been trained not to think that way but to be positive that no matter what happens, we will survive the labor room.
Pregnancy differs in different women, some don't feel disturbed in any way while some do.
When I conceived my son, the first three months weren't funny at all, vomiting, spitting and I stopped eating food I prepare myself.
The second trimester was the period to experience pregnancy glow, vomiting stopped and I could eat my food, however, spitting continued.
It was the same period stretch on the thigh appeared.
The third trimester was a combination of the first and second, accompanied with a swollen nose and body😅
In fact, during this period of being pregnant, those initial fears of pregnancy and childbirth were gone, my mind was already prepared for the labor room.
It's normal to have these fear but in the end, when you get to the bridge, you will cross it with ease🙂
Ps: I should note state this comment is also cross-posted or not. Lol
I feel like pregnancy isn't taught enough about, a lot of women go through too many things that they didn't plan for.
I have seen my sister and my sister-in-law pregnant and it wasn't appealing to me.
I guess when I get to that bridge I will cross it or not.
Definitely, it still doesn't rule out the fact that it needs to be taught enough.
Sometimes the body of a lady who is pregnant determines what she experiences during the period of pregnancy.
Yeah, I know this but everyone still goes through something.
First and foremost, I had to read all this comments from a to z phew 😌 mehn infact chai 😩 am confused!
Yeah giving birth to kids ain't a easy thing, I experienced my aunt's and relatives, friends give birth it's true they have lots of changes in their body afterwards... Luckily some remain the way they were...
The pains, discomfort, confused state, like-one-food-immediately-hates-it state, angry-at-times state, lazy state, babyish attitude and lots of drama haba it's not easy, do you know some will gate the perfume they use and prefer smell of toilet or Indian hemp this is crazy mehn ..... Women are specially made indeed....all this process just for child-bearing and a man will raise hand on a pregnant woman isn't it a curse to him.
Everyone has different system and how they react tho I must say but it's truly a beautiful thing to behold a living creature inside you, the closeness, the unbreakable bond, the sacrifice, the undiluted love asf!
Being pregnant is beautiful dearie, you must discard those fears because eventually you will get there and is a journey you won't regret trust me!
It's difficult to also raise kids in this our country but lemme tell you those being are spiritual and God takes care of them, hahaha do you think it's easy to watch over little children it's not at all, they are sweet pain in the ass!
Much love 💕💞😘.... You will definitely cross the bridge and you will be happy you did!
From @dreemport and a good dreemer
Babies are beautiful but there is a lot that happens that for me makes it not worth it, It takes a lot.
Maybe one day, I'll be okay with the idea of having children but for now, it is still in consideration.
Thank you so much for reading.
I dare not have this type of conversations with Nigerians 😄
I had it one day, I regretted it because of what they said but it's a big fear for me, at one point I didn't want to have kids but who knows.
For me, the fear is not just about the pregnancy but everything after that. Taking care of a human for like the first 20 years of their life? Phewww
More than 20 years mehn, plus all the craziness that may come, what happens if the kid isn't what I expected.
That's the scariest part for me. I hate any form of discomfort and I fear that one day, I may just send that baby parking and the late-night cries - my God!
Congratulations @khaleesii! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s):
Your next target is to reach 200 posts.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!
Check out the last post from @hivebuzz:
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!
I use to have all these fear and concerns you are having now but presently my mind is made up as i'm expecting my first baby.
I'm in my first three months, and is been smooth so far.
Sometimes is okay to be afraid, is what helped me to be fully prepared.
I know it not easy bringing and raising a child in this world most especially in Nigeria but i think I'm more than ready to do my best.
Maybe someday you will be ready as well.
Congratulations, I hope everything goes as smoothly as it is now.
Raising a kid in Nigeria is hard and scary especially with everything we hear.
I guess maybe one day ill be ready.
Sometimes when I hear mothers talk about the changes their body experiences due to childbearing and there is postpartum depression. Kids are scary abeg, you'll be responsible for another human whom you have to guide till they find their feet. Sigh!
And the fact that some things you experience never go back to normal, it just stays like that.
Omo, Scary stuff. Some people never go back after childbirth. I actually envy those who come out glowing, I hope it's like that for me too.
Might be for the first but would it be for the second, that's the concern plus everyone will be expecting you to snap back.
Some people did it. At least my mom did it with 4 kids. I guess it depends on the person and their body reacts
Some do, some lose a part of themselves.
True that
Well, as a father, during the period of pregnancy, the man too is almost in the same state as the woman, except for the bodily changes.
You can see it as a challenge of life and it doesn't just stop there. The conception, the pregnancy, the delivery, nursing etc.
Kudos to all women. From the labour room, you can hear the wailing and shouting of the woman before the cry of the baby. It's just another experience all together.
I got here from @dreemport.
This is interesting to see from a father's perspective, I guess most people don't think about that
I hope you will get over your fear someday :) I have also been fearful especially after witnessing some of my relatives having a hard time during birth, but when I got married, the fear disappeared. Got here via #dreemport :)
Hopefully, when the time comes, I'll be more courageous.
I think it is normal to feel fear especially if it is is your first time. Nah, I don't know actually haha I'm not a girl😂 Have some !LUV
Thank you.
@theimpostor(1/1) gave you LUV.
H-E tools | connect | <><
During pregnancy its both the couples that are involved, the major thing a woman needs then is all the love, support and most important food. Its an awesome experience especially in the first trimester... Although it comes with alot of mood swings but you will surely feel they joy and want more kids especially after seeing the way hubby treats their wife's like an egg during pregnancy, you get too see the true love of a man, if he truely loves u.
I feel like both couples are involved yes, but the man doesn't go through a quarter of what the woman goes through.
Yea he doesn't feel the body change like the woman but i can tell u from experience he still feels the pain and goes through the process...
He doesn't feel the pain at all, I won't accept that.