Punday Monday 259

in Comedy Open Mic3 months ago

Welcome to Punday Monday!

(prize update below)

tl;dr

Make a pun about the topic of the week,
This week’s topic is 4th of July (U.S. independence day).
Here's how to make a pun, if you don't know: https://peakd.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties

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New To Punday?

Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv.

How To Make a Pun

This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: Learn to Pun

Rules for the PUN-test:

  • If you hope to win a prize [1 100% upvote per punster, 2 HSBI for a win), your pun must be your original work
  • Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very loosely related.

Last Week's Punday Monday:

Here is last week's Punday Monday, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!

Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winner of This Week's PUNday Monday Is...

OH, WAS THAT NOT ENOUGH POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE FOR YOU?

How’s THIS:

DRUMROLL PLEASE…..

@wrestlingdesires

This Week's Pun Topic Is:

4th of July
as in:
Did you hear about William, who was in charge of pens and paper for the continental congress? He was the Bill of writes.

I'm So Good at Puns

If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!

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Last 4th of July was a lot of fun. We had a blast

each year on the third of july my boss gives me a fifth of scotch to celebrate the coming fourth but on the fifth he is never even one third so forthcoming.

Yay, we are free! But free to do what? I would like to say free to be happy.

But what gives us that elusive thing? It isn't wealth, or anything that others can bestow. It's something that we choose to allow to grow.

So enjoy the day, wherever you are. Freedom of the mind can be yours, whether you live in the USA, or the USSR!

!PIZZA !ALIVE !LOL

@improv! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @wrestlingdesires. (8/10)

The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.

I wanted to go to an underground night club that had illegal fireworks for the 4th of July. They made me sign a raver

How come this country has always been run by some crusty old guys?...more like In-Depends-End-Days!

What do you call fireworks that are using another carrier's network?

Roaming candles

If your lips get chapped lighting off fireworks, don't forget about the cherry balm

PIZZA!

PIZZA Holders sent $PIZZA tips in this post's comments:
@wrestlingdesires(8/15) tipped @improv (x1)

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