GRATITUDE
Show me
your serpent skirt
and I'll show you
my maze.
No. I'll show it
to you
anyway.
I'll be a giver
only because
I want to
give you
the best.
You listen
and you care...
You entangle me
with gentleness
and faith.
You are Me.
I show you
my gratitude
so that you
can show it
to the rest
of the people
who are feeling
human.
Your serpent skirt
is now as smooth
as my maze
is run over
by you.
Thank You.
Sigh. Love. It kills us really. But I'm just in that kind of mood, I guess. I like how you use markdown formatting in the first stanzas, especially the addition or indication of emotion in the second stanza. The first stanza is a little confusing: because you are using the convention for a quote, I'm not sure if this is something that was said to the speaker, or if it something the speaker said, at an earlier time, that the poem is a reaction to. Probably the latter, given the final stanza. I also love the careful use of line breaks to give an extra layer of meaning to your lines; it's like the emphasis you've chosen to give the phrases by placing them on their own lines allows them to go beyond the simple meaning they have within the sentence; the line breaks create more meaning in the poem. Not every line but many offer a standalone unit of meaning, something I've read about somewhere and now have seen done well. It's been awhile since I read one of yours; glad to run across another one. :)
Hey, nice to see you again 🙂 Thank You for the constructive feedback. I envisioned the first 2 stanzas as a dialogue. When I write I do consider the meaning of each stanza or accents, things I want to ''put a spell on'' lol So, yes...many of them have a standalone meaning. It is nice that you have seen that 😇 Glad that you enjoyed reading this one. Have a great end of the week! 🌈
👋👋🔥
Thank You! 🙂
You're welcome amazing poem
😊👍❤️
The best thing that can happen to anyone is having someone that listens and cares while entangling us with their gentleness and faith. It means a lot.
Yes, it does...
Son versos que no es fácil 🤭 mantener el sentido y ripma a la vez .
Pero con el tiempo todo nos sale bien.
Y más si son desde el corazón.
That's a way of saying you don't like my poetry? lol
Un abrazo.
ahh, muchas gracias 😙🤗