Gone were the days when couples couldn’t even adopt kids and had to resort to being in their own, hoping and praying God gives them children of their own. Today, there’s hope for people in this situation. Hope that they would also be parents someday. Among the many ways women can have children, surrogacy is one avenue most women resort to when it comes to childbirth.
Basically, surrogacy has to do with getting a different woman to bear kids for you and with this, it’s more like a contract because this woman is being paid for carrying a child for the one in need. In some countries, surrogacy is a business on its own while in other countries, it’s not really that much of a business even though it is being done.
In all, the goal is for one party to have a child and the other party serving as an avenue to make that come through. I’ve watched movies where people have surrogate mom and what is portrayed in these movies is the fact that these surrogates are involved in the lives of the kids even though they are not obliged to. I haven’t seen in real life or know anyone who had a surrogate for their kids but if I’m to speak honestly from my point of view, I’d say that it makes a lot of sense for a surrogate to be involved in the lives of the family they bear kids for. They don’t necessarily have to make important decisions on behalf of the child but they should at least be allowed to be present in the child’s life in one way or the other.
Childbirth isn’t like preparing a meal or something. It’s an emotional hold and whether we like it or not, the surrogate mom would have some kind of connection with the kid they bear for the other parents. Sometimes they even tend to be closer to the kids as time goes on as compared to the other kid. It actually wouldn’t hurt to make your kids surrogate mom a part of your kids life, it’s even a good thing because you and your family would not see the person as a childbirth cow but an actual human who has helped you with something.
At the end of the day, when a surrogacy contract is drawn legally and all, it really isn’t a mandate to involve the surrogate in the life of the child because every family has their principles. Eventually, everyone is going to do what works for the them. But for me, if I’m to ever get a surrogate for any reason, I’d like them to be a part of the kids life.
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Your decision is very valid unfortunately not everyone know where to draw the line as some women busy body too much. You might be disciplining the child and they might want to challenge your style of parenting. Some might even go as far as being too forward to take the child to places without your consent. Basically two captains cannot run a ship I’m guessing that’s why the couples would rather the surrogate be paid off and not get involved at all.
You’re very right. This is why there should be boundaries in such instances.