It Comes in Threes As They Say - Condolences to all Family Members | #sublimesunday; #thoughtfuldailypost

It comes in threes. Sometimes fours and fives. But it does come. Whether we're ready to hear about it or ready be a part of the condolence process, death is a factor of life. Yesterday, I received word that four individuals I know passed away.

Two were neighbors. Life takes different turns for everyone. When you hear of someone passing away that you've known for over twenty years, sometimes you have to step back and realize that you never really knew that person. People are either public or private. Some will tell you their entire life stories within minutes of meeting them. Others, you can know a lifetime, live next door or two doors down from you, and still not truly know them.

Two were family members. Two family members passing away within weeks of each other I'm used to. This year started slowly in the number of family we lost for various reasons. But seems as if the numbers are increasing the past few months. COVID has been the primary reason for the loss of my two family members. Losing a loved one to the virus is hard. This is true for especially when it may have been avoidable.

It amazes me that people still won't acknowledge that the virus is real. When talking to family members, they seem to feel they are invincible. They truly believe that the virus won't reach them.

Listening to others and not making clear decisions about your own health can cause grave circumstances. All I can do is what any family member can, stress the importance of taking care of yourself and listening to your medical professionals.

What I find so profound is the fact that no matter who you are, you should realize that death is inevitable. At some point, everyone will pass away. Determining how you want your loved ones to be prepared for your passing is a personal choice.

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It pains me when I hear family members and friends say they don't want to think about their death or their loved ones now. I gently ask them when will be a good time to think about it? They usually look at me in a dismissive way.

However, it pains me even further when those same family members approach me for financial assistance when a loved one passes way. I try not to deal them the "I told you so" admonishment. But it's always on the tip of my tongue, and I'm an inch away from proving their wrongness or shortsightedness.

Not having one's personal affairs in order is telling. Yesterday, I thought about the family members who are left to deal with a loved one passing away and attempting to deal with financial arrangements. It's never easy to ask others for financial assistance under any circumstances. But it's especially telling for those who must do so when a loved one is deceased.

It's a fact that the financial aspect of interring a loved one is daunting. Trying to make financial decisions under duress aids no one except the institutions that manage funeral arrangements. They know the family members are desperate to get matters taken care of. Often times, decisions made in a hurry can have lasting impact on the grieving family who was not prepared to handle the unexpected expenses.

Planning for the expected or unexpected demise of a family member is never easy. Thoughtful consideration of all aspects of the interment procedure must be taken seriously. I have tried to explain this to my own family, especially my children. They know our plans and arrangements that have been made over twenty years ago.

In the past, I've dealt with financial arrangements for numerous extended family members. It was due to either poor planning by the deceased or the immediate family members. All I could do was to provide financial assistance; help with funeral arrangements if requested; and, of course, give my condolences.

Yesterday, I advised my children once again to learn from examples others are providing them.

Then I sent my condolences to the family members.