The Bittersweet Fruit

I was born out of two young lovers. I am a product of their touching hands on a Sunday afternoon after the mass after a week of waiting. The fruit of their first forevers, swimming in their unquenchable lust.

I don't recall the voice of my father. He must have disappeared within the nine-month night and forgotten his way back to my expecting mother. How she was able to house her broken heart and his unwanted child I am not sure.

Her spine rearranged itself as her womb expanded for a bittersweet fruit.

I fought her breaking bones on my way out and forced her to endure the pain. After hours of drowning her in her sweat, I dragged in the red moon to cleanse my first home.

Like celestial beings turning water into wine, I robbed her of her maiden-ness before turning her youthful breasts to food for months. I must have sat on her laps for hours. Years even.

I followed her everywhere as soon as I could put a step before the other. I clung to the edges of her skirts while demanding everything through my continuously faked cries and the trickling teardrops.

She must have embodied forbearance as she birthed me.

I grew up watching her effortlessly putting my hardheadedness in its place. Her voice became a compass in my unruly world and a light for my inexperienced soles.

Who else knows of anyone who can eat her bittersweet fruit in absolute silence?

As I raise my brood, I keep thinking of every single mother who holds it down as she did. Women who defy the odds and slip into unplanned parenting roles. And considering that I am aware of the challenges involved, how can I not then admire them?

As every biologically wired woman has a womb, it is safe to say that motherhood chooses us. But being chosen doesn't necessarily equip or hand you a detailed map on how to raise other versions of your soul.

Channelling the right energy and understanding to be a parent is hard but I believe that parenting an unwanted offspring alone is way harder. It takes acceptance of what is and what will be. More like venturing into the unknown.

And so, this one is to appreciate those who choose to keep and raise their children even after the soul partially responsible walks away. It is for every woman struggling to make ends meet whilst whomever they should be accountable for their sins with is missing in action.

_{wambuku w.}

_pixabay.