#85 - Criticism and Parenting

in Ladies of Hive4 months ago

One fact I have accepted in life is that even if you are an amazing person you will still be criticized at some point in life, if you are doing something right people would see it as wrong and want to correct you. This is life, all that matters is how we react to them

Have you been in a situation where you were so sure that you were on the right path with something, but you get corrected and the one time you decide to take correction, you lose everything?

Story of my life.....happened a lot of times back in my school days, I had to grow a strong heart and stick to what I knew was right and ignore most of the noise,now I have forgotten how to filter the noise, take the correction that is best for me and block the critics.

One of the many traits that I am not proud of is that 70% of the time, I am a people pleaser, so I take to heart what people say about me, criticism or correction...I take it a little too personal. I could go for days thinking and thinking and dwelling on a particular comment and it can destabilize me.

.....It is even worst now as a mother.

somehow, I learned to handle corrections or criticisms made at me, but it breaks me when I get criticized for not doing something right when it comes to my child.

There is one thing that they say in my country

“It takes a village to raise a child“

Believe me when I say our Nigerian mothers Have taken that statement too seriously. I understand that most times these corrections come from a place of love and support especially to me as a first-time mum but most times it is overstretched.


image source

I have received countless corrections in form of criticism one time too many when it comes to my baby and it hurts every single time, I try to push most comments aside and just let them slide but they always get stuck In my head.

It seems like the message wouldn't have been passed well if a bit of insult, and criticism isn't been added to the correction needed.

So How do I handle these corrections or criticisms from other people? Like the prompt of the week asks

I avoid the conversation totally, I try not to give people room To drop comments especially when it concerns my baby. there are just people you see and you just know their intent, with the way they stare or keep looking in your direction like they have something to say, I observe and avoid it completely.

I try not to be found or involved in a conversation with too much negativity, even when it's not about me or anyone around me but one day it would be my turn if I am not careful...if I choose to join them to criticize others today, they will one day gather to criticize me.

and the times I get criticized, I would look into whatever the issue was, and correct it if correction is needed... I may dwell on it for a while but eventually, I will move on from it.

There are some people I get excited to hear their corrections or opinions, they do it with so much love and understanding, and I appreciate them every time I hear words of advice from them.

In summary, I just apply wisdom when handling criticism and corrections. Wisdom is the principal thing in these situations for me.


i would really love to hear from you @ozohu @jessicassom how do you you handle criticism when it Is about your parenting method?

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Some criticism hurts badly and is capable of sinking into someone's head negatively especially when it's not done politely and with love. Of course, if the critics can approach people with love, it's always a welcome idea with two arms stretched out.

No matter how much we try to handle parenting, people must talk and the way you handle yours is good 👍

Whatsoever that gives me peace is what I apply not minding the noises around.

Yes o
Peace is priority.

Exactly! One needs to apply wisdom in dealing with criticism from people because we would always come across such everyday and if we can't control our emotions and ignore them, they may affect us mentally, if not psychologically.

I may have perfected the art of ignoring criticism. The funny this is the 'teacher' wouldn't even get a hint of what I'm doing as I agree with a smile, a promise of 'I'll do it later' or just a shake my head.

And for those ones I'll have to respond to, I make sure to let the person know my POV and my decision on the subject matter.

Thanks for tagging. Will check out the prompt.

I like that you have perfected the act.. Soon they will get the memo

You have touched on a very important topic, when we are mothers we are always criticized for one thing or another, the best thing is to assert our role as a mother and establish limits, although I understand that in your culture they take seriously intervening in the upbringing of children . Thanks for sharing 😊

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Corrections and criticisms when delivered with insult or sarcasm hurt more, glad that you have a way of dealing with them and applying wisdom to what you hear from others. It's funny but yes, people will always have something to say no matter how carefully we act or do things.

Thank you for sharing and I wish you the best on your Mothering :)