Man makes your hair gray. He's your life's mistake
All you're really lookin' for was an even break - Alice Cooper/Richard Wagner

It all started out that one night years ago. You met this guy, Adam, and went on a date or two. He was exciting and different. He had an edge and was introducing you to a new forbidden world. He had that intriguing bad boy personality, yet there was a soft side. If you could only find it, and mold him into the man you wanted. Your mom warned you. Your old man was against this creep from the start. Even your best friend, Kim, was concern about him. He was jealous and controlling. Yet, you thought that meant he cared about you.

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But then came the drinking and the drugs, and nights alone, wondering who Adam was with. It seemed, when he did come home, he would be angry and get violent with you. But there was good sex, and you did not want to leave him. After all, you lived together and your lives are intertwined. You would be lost without him.

You just want an even break and this may be him.

Well, your best friend, Kim, tries to talk some sense into you, but you blow her off. You are scared to leave Adam. After all, he would not approve of you moving out. Kim even tries to share an old Alice Cooper Song, called, Only Women Bleed. You could relate, but it scared the hell out of you.

It's interesting that the song was written by Alice Cooper, a music theatric and stage rocker. He is a son of a minister, and today, a Christian. He has been married for years to the same woman. The words tell the story and may well serve a greater purpose.

Instead of leaving the creep, you tie the knot and go down to the courthouse to the JP. He marries you both. It is your special day. Kim is there and Adam brings his bud Frank. Both Adam and Frank smell of alcohol. But it is your wedding day and you don't want to spoil it. After all they may have been celebrating early.

Time passes.

You are now six months pregnant. You are alone almost every night, When you see Adam, he is angry and doesn't like you asking questions. He yells at you and hits you several times. You have bruises and broken tooth. It hurts and you cry. But you are committed to this relationship and you are going to have his baby.

Man got his woman to take his seed he got the power oh she got the need - Alice Cooper

You try to disguise the bruises, but it is an effort to hide that front tooth. You have become quiet and never smile. Your friend, Kim, sees the tooth and asks. She also sees a bruise. Kim tries to get you to go to a woman's shelter and again you refuse. You have to be there for Adam and the baby. Kim tries to read a poem to you, by Paulette Kelly, called, I Got Flowers Today. You hesitantly listen as she speaks.

I GOT FLOWERS TODAY

I got flowers today. It wasn't my birthday or any other special day. We had our first argument last night. He said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he was sorry and didn't mean the things he said. Because I got flowers today.

I got flowers today. It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day. Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn't believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. I know he must be sorry Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. It wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again. And it was much worse than all other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I' m afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night he finally killed me. He beat me to death.

If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today.

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Time passes.

Little Adam Jr. is now over two years old, and you are pregnant again. Yes, it has been hard. The fights are more frequent. Last ween you had to go to the ER for an injury. You told them you had fallen. It was your fault. You could not bring yourself to tell the truth. But your mom and dad are very concerned about your safety. You haven't seen them in over nine months. And Adam does not allow you to see Kim anymore. He thinks Kim is a bad influence on you and has been feeding you lies.

You lay in bed at night very alone, wondering when will that even break come? When will Adam change? You thought you could change him and turn that bad boy into a good boy.

Time passes

Adam Jr is now four and little Laurie is now two. You husband, Adam, has abandoned you and the kids. There are no child support checks. You have a new live - in boyfriend, Nick who also is a bad boy type, exciting and adventurous. But yesterday, little Adam got a mysterious bruise while you were away that afternoon. You start to worry, as old memories come and haunt you.

And then

There's a knock on the door. Damn. Your house is untidy. Clothes are everywhere and there's a beer can Nick forgot to discard. You were not expecting company. Who could it be? You better answer the door.

Hi, I am from the CPS...

You may have been looking for an even break, but newsflash... the CPS is not your even break. Not even close. And women are not the only ones who bleed. Little children do as well. But you ask, who the hell is the CPS and why do they want to take my two kids? They are all I have left.

Well you may be right, because once Nick got wind of the CPS snooping around...well he left you too. Girl, let me tell you about the CPS.

Child Protective Services(CPS) is a racketeering, for profit, entity of the government. Their job is to stalk families who are easy targets and vulnerable to have their children removed from their home. They look for signs of inability to parent, abuse, neglect or conditions that may look unsafe for the child. Beer cans lying around or an unkept house may be all they need to move forward with documentation.

And girl, your house was a mess. What if they see the bruise that little Adam has?

The CPS uses intimidation, manipulation, lies and the element of surprise to create vulnerability and fear. They hope to create the image or illusion that you are not capable or raising your children. And honestly, you are an easy target.

So let me tell you the back story

The CPS kidnaps and sells children into the foster care system. They have quotas to make and there are bonuses to be paid. The money potential is so enticing and addictive! Profit and money takes precedence over the welfare of children and families.

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Well honey, let me tell you. These little ones are shuffled from home to home. They live with strangers. Some experience angry voices and violent hands. You know the type. But sadly, many end up on the streets, in prison or even dead. Others are trafficked for sex or pedophilia. Did I mention that the child trafficking industry brings in more money than illegal guns and drugs combined.

And in the end, it is all about money.

Moms and Dads try to rescue their kidnapped babies. They spend their life savings and have a rude awakening. They learn the court system is rigged with morally compromised judges and bought off lawyers. Now lets see, you have a husband and boyfriend, both who have abandoned you. Your parents live paycheck to paycheck. And you do not have a source of income, let alone savings.

And then, there is the psychological baggage that both you and your children will accumulate. Baggage is heavy and will weight you down, girl. And the CPS dumps it like a bad whore. Your children will have a life-long journey of baggage to endure. That can and will screw up your mind and life. Emotions of depressions, guilt, anger, pain, worthlessness, hopelessness and fear can make you numb and even suicidal, if you allow it. The haunting nightmares can be endless and it can be horrific.

You lie in your room that evening scared as hell and thinking. How the hell did I get here? I have tried to be a good mom. I always tried to please my man, even though he hit me and abused me. Isn't that what a good woman does? Her mind wonders though memories, and she cries.

If only I had listened to Kim when she read that poem, I Got Flowers Today. If only I had heard the message of that Alice Cooper Song. If only I had listened to my parents. If only you weren't attracted to bad boys and had more self respect.

But 'IF ONLY' does not protect your children from the CPS. So what will you do? May I offer you some suggestions?

• Refuse to live in fear or the intimidation of the CPS. Take control of your situation and your life....for once.
• Document and limit any and all interaction with the CPS. Believe me, they are doing the same. Use a smartphone camera, journal, and consider a security camera.
• Get connected with a pro-family group. They can provide you with materials and advice to make a plan. They can offer great emotional counsel and support. Turn your defense into an offense.
• Have a friend start a fund to aid in any legal expenses.
• Have a third party there as a witness in any CPS interaction. This could be your friend, Kim or a pro-family person.
• Initiate a zero tolerance, no compliance to any untruthful lies and interaction with the CPS
• Have a zero tolerance, no compliance to any abuse, physical, emotional or mental to you or your children from anyone in your life. Honestly, girl, you should have done this years ago.
• Know how to identify and avoid the self-centered narcissist. You will save yourself a lot of pain.
• Pray to your God that He will protect you and your children, and you will come out ahead on the other side.
• Get counseling and learn to not go after the bad boy personalities. You will never change them.
• Never sacrifice your relationship with your mom and dad to have a man. You can have both.

Through this time in your life, you have three umbrellas of protection. First, your friends and family and those who wish to be there. Second, pro-family groups who will be your rock. Finally, God, who will provide the wisdom and spiritual support you will need.

You spend your life looking for an even break and got broken. The above suggestions may be your 'even break' you need.

It is interesting that the word abuse has the word use in it, as in users.

On a personal note, for those who are in abusive relationships, please consider this a warning and good advice. I saw my first cousin in Des Moines go through a physically abusive relationship. Her parents warned her and yes, they got married as well. Relationship abuse is a sign of future abuse. It is a terrifying downward destructive spiral for you and your children. Have self-respect. You deserve better.

Thanks for listening. Feel free to comment, upvote or repost.